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Bre the Kitty

Bre - I'm sorry..

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I'm paralyzed.. My legs are broken and chained. I can feel the weight of my depression, anxiety, exhaustion, self loathing.. It's all too much..
The pain is too much. I can feel the black hole in my chest. It's slowly breaking my ribs and consuming my heart. My heart's breaking and decaying..
The once strong and amazing thing is the one thing that's in the most pain. That's in the most pain.
It's black and rotten. It's making a river of acid that's slowly poisoning me.. It's spreading to my brain. It's corrupting me and yet I don't want to stop it.
I deserve it because I hate myself. I hate myself mote that anything. I'm gross, disgusting, annoying.. I'm the opposite of what I want to be.
I'm not who they want me to be. I try to stand, but it's hard. It's so hard when you know you'll fail. It's hard when you know you'll never be good enough.
It's hard when you know that deep down, you're nothing but a mistake. I wasted life that just burdens everyone. The burden that drags everyone down..
And you know what? I'm sinking too. These chains they weigh me down are heavier then ever. I'm drowning in depression..
It's dark and cold, but I can't escape. I watching everyone above the surface, walking without this guilt. Walking without this pain. 
I'm frozen in fear but also.. Calm. I can't help but welcome this feeling.
I can't help but crave the sweet embrace of death because even though it might hurt others, it'll end this pain that I feel.
To finally take my last pain filled breath would be the best thing for everyone.. 

If you have any input then please, go right ahead. I can't stop this but and encouragement might settle the chaos.. For now.

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