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Kendra - What is wrong with me?

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When I was younger I hated how I looked, I hated my body and I didn't feel confident in myself nor did I feel like I was actually beautiful. The only thing that I liked about myself was my singing voice and my eyes. I posted a picture of me wearing makeup and many people replied with "you look beautiful" or "cute" and it made me happy but when I got back to my apartment and took my makeup off I felt bad about myself. I don't really understand why but I suddenly felt self-conscious again and it wasn't just with how I looked but with my singing voice as well. Many people have said that I am beautiful and that I have a beautiful voice, but when people have told me I am beautiful all I can say is thank you, and  it makes me feel not so good about myself. I used to be so proud of myself when people would compliment my singing but now I feel self-conscious about it and feel like I don't deserve the compliments.

It doesn't help that from what I have heard from other people that are in the choir at my college, that the choir isn't doing so well this semester. I couldn't join choir because I had to take math and it is like all of a sudden everyone became miserable. People from choir have been asking me if there was any way at all I could some how come in but I can't the only time I would be able to go in would be on Thursdays and that really isn't fair to me because I don't have that much time to practice. Anyways I feel guilty about not being able to join and then with how I am feeling about myself I just feel like something is wrong with me.  To be honest I sometimes feel happier wearing my wigs because then I can pretend to be someone else for just a moment. I know this is probably all over the place but right now that is where my mind is, so if this doesn't make sense I will try my best to clear it up.

-Kendra Wokal-

I added a few photos of me so that you can see different sides of me to understand a bit more about me.





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