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ScienceRocks - Emotional Intelligence and Hurting Others

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Shortened Version For Livestream:  

Simply put: I have a low emotional intelligence.  When I get into something online, such as this, I often (to me, at least) seem to come off as writing an academic journal.  I'm terrible with anything social, and i often don't know how to make 'small talk' or say things gently.  I speak my mind as my thoughts come, even if they aren't fully finished yet.  And even when I DO stop to think before I speak, I still tend to get it wrong.  I can sound harsh, angry, condescending, or whatever else- when to me, i'm simply making a harmless observation or statement.  To top it all off, I have a hard time understanding people's motivations and behaviors when dealing with me, as well as more subtle or complex social cues.  And asking people directly rarely ever works, as they don't want to just say what they're thinking.  I also often can't express my intentions or meanings without going through a roundabout- and often hurtful or offensive- series of comments.

So, what can i do to fix this...???  I've severed many ties with people and friends, and hurt even more, all because of my poor social skills, and I can't seem to get it right.

P.S.: Sorry, paraphrazing isn't my strong suit, lol.  This is what I mean by 'roundabout' explanations.

Edited by ScienceRocks
Changed sentence structure to make more sense/Lol i'm garbage at explanations. Just leave it at that.

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Hey Science! 

Here are some good books that could help:


How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie

How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing With People - Les Giblin

Success With People - Cavett Robert (powerful stuff - borderline manipulation)

Personality Plus - Florence Littauer

The Emotional Intelligence Quickbook - Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves


Hopefully some of these can help out!  I would start with the Les Giblin book if you haven't read it yet...  Good Luck!!  :no1:

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