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Blue Hemlock

I'm afraid of my family

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Hi

To begin, I've just gotten through an SAT where my parents had me study for months. I think the practice helped, but my parents would consistently have me practice ~4 hours a day. Come a few days before the test, I was very stressed, and my parents made it worse by insulting me, calling me lazy, stupid, a waste of time, and constantly reining me that if I didn't do well, my future was ruined. This comes from the family that all went to Ivy league schools, while I don't think I'll be able to make one. This, coupled with reminders that I would be nothing without them, and that I can't do anything for myself, seriously damaged my self-esteem.

I'm not depressed, but I don't see a point in doing this, I try hard and only receive insults and sometimes physical threats.

School is stressful but home is worse, I'm getting sick of it, and I don't know what to do, or if I can do anything.

 

Also, my dad, when very angry, would throw things at me, topple chairs I would sit in, and pushed me up against a wall and yelled at me, all for not being good enough. This makes me afraid that he will carry out the threats when he makes them, he's the thing I'm most afraid of, and that really makes me unhappy, I just want to feel appreciated.

Edited by Blue Hemlock

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4 hours ago, Blue Hemlock said:

Hi

To begin, I've just gotten through an SAT where my parents had me study for months. I think the practice helped, but my parents would consistently have me practice ~4 hours a day. Come a few days before the test, I was very stressed, and my parents made it worse by insulting me, calling me lazy, stupid, a waste of time, and constantly reining me that if I didn't do well, my future was ruined. This comes from the family that all went to Ivy league schools, while I don't think I'll be able to make one. This, coupled with reminders that I would be nothing without them, and that I can't do anything for myself, seriously damaged my self-esteem.

I'm not depressed, but I don't see a point in doing this, I try hard and only receive insults and sometimes physical threats.

School is stressful but home is worse, I'm getting sick of it, and I don't know what to do, or if I can do anything.

 

Also, my dad, when very angry, would throw things at me, topple chairs I would sit in, and pushed me up against a wall and yelled at me, all for not being good enough. This makes me afraid that he will carry out the threats when he makes them, he's the thing I'm most afraid of, and that really makes me unhappy, I just want to feel appreciated.

Unfountrantly, parents who went to these big,fancy schools will want there kids to do the same, or better. In your case, i think they have been holding these threats back until now, to make you feel so pressured by them that you HAVE to pass well, without any regard to your psychological state or inner thoughts, or be absolutley ruined by the fact that you didnt.

You are not nothing without them, family is more then blood or making you into existance-Its about compassion for your child and teaching your child to be a indiviual, and accepting that mabye there not wanting/unable to go to big schools, cause lets face it, not all of us are qualified. To practice 4 hours a day by force of your parents is a key factor to my hyphothesis, as you worded it in a way that makes it seem like this is the first time they have made you feel this pressured. Your parents, from my understanding, are the kind that want there child to do what they couldent, and then take all the credit. Either that or there the ones that feel like you owe them something after all those years of raising you, which isint true. You dont owe them jack. Your your own person, but i wouldent reccomend standing up to them unless your sure it will work.

Now off of the scientific side, its horrible that this is happening to you. No child, adult, or anyone period should have to go through that kind of stress cause of there parents, but because they want to, they want to go through that insane stress just for it to pay off in the end. And your dad...jesus, i cant say anything to that-im sorry thats happening to you man. If he ever starts getting worse, or dosent stop after you failed or passed, get out of that house as soon as you can, live with someone you know, do SOMETHING. Because that kind of enviornment isint good for your growth, and its just not something that anyone, parent or otherwise to do.

I hope my little rant helped, and dont hesitate to talk to me or anyone else here about anything else that may/might happen. Much loves to you.-Nathan

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Thank you.

I can't really explain, but that really helped.

It's nice to have someone show they value you, especially if they don't even know you.

  • Thanks 1

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On 10/8/2017 at 7:10 PM, Blue Hemlock said:

Thank you.

I can't really explain, but that really helped.

It's nice to have someone show they value you, especially if they don't even know you.

No problem, and good luck fightin' through this dark time in your life.

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On 10/8/2017 at 12:37 PM, ThatOnePoro said:

You are not nothing without them, family is more then blood or making you into existance-Its about compassion for your child and teaching your child to be a indiviual, and accepting that mabye there not wanting/unable to go to big schools, cause lets face it, not all of us are qualified. To practice 4 hours a day by force of your parents is a key factor to my hyphothesis, as you worded it in a way that makes it seem like this is the first time they have made you feel this pressured. Your parents, from my understanding, are the kind that want there child to do what they couldent, and then take all the credit. Either that or there the ones that feel like you owe them something after all those years of raising you, which isint true. You dont owe them jack. Your your own person, but i wouldent reccomend standing up to them unless your sure it will work.

I agree wholeheartedly with this.  But you should do what you wanna do with your life because it is yours.  You shouldn't have to follow their dreams for you. You are your own person with your own future and them trying to force you to do it and threaten you isn't right.

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1 hour ago, harmony124 said:

I agree wholeheartedly with this.  But you should do what you wanna do with your life because it is yours.  You shouldn't have to follow their dreams for you. You are your own person with your own future and them trying to force you to do it and threaten you isn't right.

Yeah, i agree completly.

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I know this is really bad, but is your father giving you death threats and hitting you? If so you could call the police.

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