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lunarjade1004 last won the day on April 16

lunarjade1004 had the most liked content!

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About lunarjade1004

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  1. you dont get anything but some of the things you currently have are taken away as well I wish I was a better person
  2. granted but you will stay young and alive forever while you see the people you love all die around you and you will still be alive when the world ends I wish my friends would care about themselves at least half as much as I care about them
  3. you do but now the lives of the people around you are ruined I wish I had enough money to afford the things i want
  4. lunarjade1004

    giraffe static

    I just remembered I do have a giant pile of plushies time to gET BURIED ALIVE
  5. granted but the music sucks despite the fact its owlcity. I wish I had a better voice
  6. lunarjade1004

    Shirt Contest!

    Does this workkkkkk or do I have to edit it idk
  7. Oooookay I feel awkward being the first person to post here but this is where I always used to rant when I felt down so here I go.... I need to vent somewhere to stay sane so here i ramble off again. Um so if anyones curious what this is about uh please its just me rambling about random sad thoughts you can ignore this. Anyways I feel homesick lately. I feel like I miss somewhere I used to be. The problem is that I am home. Im sitting in my house, in my room, like always. I couldn't be more home if I tried. But it feels so dark and strange these days, I don't feel relaxed, or happy, or anything near being home. I used to be so happy all the time. I felt so relaxed. I had it so much better than everyone living around me, who were driven to study night and day for their planned out strict future. But now I just feel empty and tired, I can't get myself out of bed in the morning because I don't want to deal with waking up, and I can't go to bed without lying down and staring into the air while I worry and cry about things that will probably never happen. Something hurts inside me constantly and it wouldn't be so bad if I just knew exactly why... Maybe its because of the reason that a lot of things have been falling apart lately. To rant a bit more... I recently almost got into a argument with my parents because of how homophobic they are. They basically disowned me but I lied to them about myself, and they half believed it. I know that I can just cut contacts with them as soon as I leave the country but it hurts that people that I have looked up at for my entire life are now making me feel locked in. I used to respect my family because of how they raised me, but now I don't know how I even feel about them anymore. I feel like Im detatched from them with just a string of lies connecting us. Theres also the fact that someone that I used to love emphasis on used to is attempting to be friends with me again. Basically I liked someone and reasoned that 'it didnt matter if they didnt like me back im satisfied with being just a friend' but well they didnt even think of me as a close friend and instead thought of me as...annoying or clingy. Anyways I moved on from the simple crush but the problem is they still expect me to trail after them and do what they please. And now that the only feeling i have left is resent, everything becomes extremely awkward. Now Im just tired, and I sort of expect everyone to care less about me then I care about them. This isn't really the only example something Like this happened to me and I just feel like i care more than I used, I always act overly attatched and ruin friendships, and that maybe it isn't worth ever continueing any social relationship at all if itll just end in me feeling worse. Its probably not true at all but im scared. Im starting to unintentionally back away from contacting any of my friends, and stop myself from getting emotionally conected with people. I want to stop this, its driving me crazy. Strangely even though I try to push people away I still care about them too much. And then that creates more fear. Im afraid that everyone i love deeply will end up leaving my side and leaving me alone. Either because they no longer care for me or because of a event that causes them to leave, Im scared that people will leave from my life and leave me alone. So much people have drifted away from me and I want to stay with the people I have, yet Im scared they'll hurt me by leaving too. I feel like im trapped in a loop where the only way to leave is to be hurt. Maybe this will all pass and my feelings and thoughts will fall back to normal, but I needed to write everything down somewhere before my depression came back completely. Anywayys if anyone read all this for any? Reason??? Thanks I guess for wasting your time on my long useless venting. Hope your life goes better than mine.
  8. lonely owl honestly made me cry because the lyrics literally sounded like everything ive ever complined/said while being forced to do homework into the niight honestly
  9. Im a complete fangirl for Harrypotter, Percy Jackson, and I enjoyed hunger games and oh yeah i used to be obsessed with artemis fowl. and for lesser famous ones I liked rooftoppers, and i used to love the warriors cats seris when i was younger.
  10. lunarjade1004

    Shirt Contest!

    aaaAAh thats so good and well drawn~!!! I Love his hair omg
  11. thankyou so much for sending me that sunnily I really loved the songs a lot and now i can hear them over again ^^
  12. Thankyou so much everyone for this post...! Everything can seem dark at times but it really is important to see how you can get better from the problem. Ive sort of been facing a wall of problems these days but everyone's words just reminds me that this is not the end, and that I can solve my way out of this, or escape out of this situation in time. When everything is solved, I know the world will seem much more brighter and accepting. Thankyou everyone for the wonderful inspiring kind words and I hope that you all will continue to have the strength to win and learn from all the adversities you may face in the future!
  13. honestly this community is so talented and supportive in general it inspires me to become a kinder person in general. Everyone is so amazing and this place really feels like home...^^
  14. I also want to let people know that I am free to talk to whenever they need someone who will listen to their words. If anyone feels like they want to talk about something privately please all feel free to message me about anything.
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