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Artist22

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Everything posted by Artist22

  1. As soon as my cough is gone and I am better, I am going to be recording and posting my new series called "A Siren's Tale". But sadly I am nervous that people wont like it, even though I have many people working on it that are just as enthusiastic about it as I am. I am putting my heart and soul into it! My Yandere videos have been doing good, but I don't want to do those anymore, because they put me into a bad frame of mind. I have many ideas for this and I am so excited and I hope you guys could tell me what I can do. I think you might have talked about something similar to this before but I just am feeling so proud of the work that I am putting into this video! What advice do you have to give me? -Kendra-
  2. Last night after I got off of Discord with my friends I went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror and I just started to cry. I don't know why but I just started to cry. I broke down just crying and I couldn't figure out why. As soon as I looked at the messages of my friends I realized that I was feeling lonely and I was wishing that I could actually have a real hug instead of a virtual hug. I messaged my friends David and Jarrel and they both told me to go into the VC chat to talk to them and the others. Immediately as soon as I got on I broke down in tears and I couldn't stop, everyone was doing their best to cheer me up and telling me that they all loved me and that I was important to them. Typing this right now I am tearing up remembering the support they gave me. Eventually they got me to laugh and I got so many messages in private telling me that if I ever needed to talk that they would be there for me. In a way I feel guilty for just crying and even embarrassed, I usually try to not cry in front of others because it makes me feel weak and vulnerable. I am usually there for others just listening to what they want to say and giving advise if they want it. I hate crying in front of others but they told me if I needed to that I could, that I don't have to cry by myself. I wish I could meet all my friends in person and just give them all a big hug. I am sorry if this is too long, to be honest I think I just need to hear from someone that it is okay to cry so I don't feel guilty. In high school I had to hide my feelings because I didn't want there to be any rumors or have people make fun of me for crying in school. Thank you for reading this. -Kendra M Wokal-
  3. You all know I was planning on perhaps making art lessons on my channel, but recently I started to create some Roleplay ASMR videos. Right now they aren't that good because of the equipment I am using, which is just my phone and head phones. I feel good about creating this and I feel like it will help me be able to talk out loud when I start my art lesson videos. I am a bit self conscious of my voice even though I have had many people tell me that they liked it. Sadly though I have to many ideas in my head but I don't have the proper equipment to be able to create the videos that I want. I don't want to just create videos for views, I want to create works of art in a way. I know you have talked about my self-consciousness before but this is different, because people are actually in a way hearing me. They aren't hearing my singing voice, they are hearing me, my acting voice. It's kind of scary but it feels good in a way, I don't know. What do you think? -Kendra- update- I found my microphone so some of the new content I made sounds better. I am also going to collaborate with another ASMR youtuber. I just hope I can give him what he wants for the voice.
  4. I am having trouble drawing people. I am in a figure drawing class and I am struggling to draw a human, I can draw the skeleton just fine but I am struggling to draw the flesh. I have been practicing dozens of times on trying to draw them, to get the proportions right and I just can't seem to get it! My teacher and my friend have told me that it is probably because I am used to drawing anime figures where the proportions are exactly correct. However, I cant even draw the body of an anime figure, just the head and face. This is the one thing in art that I am struggling with, I have never struggled so much with any art form until this! We are going to be drawing a live human next and I am actually concerned that I will fail. I know I need to continue practicing but if I don't get better with practice it's not going to help me. What should I do? -Kendra-
  5. I am currently in Adolescent Psychology for a second time because I failed to meet the requirement grade to pass the class. Thankfully I have a different teacher, however, the tests are all done online and I only have so much time to complete them. I am always second guessing myself and I try not to do that but then there are times that when I do second guess myself it is a good thing because I end up getting the answer correct. I have never been a good test taker and with a class like this, it basically what I am graded on. I am thankful he gives us writing assignments so that I can get even a few points, but I am struggling. How can I stop second guessing myself? -Kendra-
  6. I am feeling lonely! Valentine's Day is tomorrow and my boyfriend is planning on making a video of him singing some song for me and I don't have anything and I feel bad about it. Not only that but it is also my brother's 16th birthday and I can't be there to celebrate it with him and help my mom with getting things ready for his party. I have asked if my friends have any plans and basically all of them are working or have to stay home with family. What can I do so that I am not feeling so lonely? And any ideas on what I could do for my boyfriend and my family? -Kendra-
  7. As you know I create art and you have seen some of my art as well. I recently have been having to come up with something for my senior capstone, which is my senior art show and I will be having it earlier because of me hopefully entering the education program. In the show we can put are art up for sale. I have a hard time letting my favorite pieces of art work go. I have created some paintings that I absolutely love and want to sell, but no one buys it and the art I create when I am bored and don't like people love it and want something like it. Currently I am trying to create a combination of a North Dakota Sunset and galaxy painting in water color. So far I am failing at creating that and it is getting frustrating because I need to start on it now, so that I wont have to worry about it later on. To be honest I haven't been as creative with my water color art as I have been with my Tik-Tok videos that I create. I do well when I am in the art room but once I am by myself it is like my art has downgraded. I am once again feeling discouraged but I keep pushing because I know I can do it. I feel if that if my art isn't good when I am by myself then how can I teach someone how to paint or draw if I am not happy with what I am doing? -Kendra-
  8. Artist22

    TikTok Videos

    I use TikTok to escape reality for a but and be creative! Ciel Phantomhive, Celtic Woman, and Patton Sanders. QUJN2352.MP4 FGTB8503.MP4 TYOD9507.MP4
  9. When I was younger I hated how I looked, I hated my body and I didn't feel confident in myself nor did I feel like I was actually beautiful. The only thing that I liked about myself was my singing voice and my eyes. I posted a picture of me wearing makeup and many people replied with "you look beautiful" or "cute" and it made me happy but when I got back to my apartment and took my makeup off I felt bad about myself. I don't really understand why but I suddenly felt self-conscious again and it wasn't just with how I looked but with my singing voice as well. Many people have said that I am beautiful and that I have a beautiful voice, but when people have told me I am beautiful all I can say is thank you, and it makes me feel not so good about myself. I used to be so proud of myself when people would compliment my singing but now I feel self-conscious about it and feel like I don't deserve the compliments. It doesn't help that from what I have heard from other people that are in the choir at my college, that the choir isn't doing so well this semester. I couldn't join choir because I had to take math and it is like all of a sudden everyone became miserable. People from choir have been asking me if there was any way at all I could some how come in but I can't the only time I would be able to go in would be on Thursdays and that really isn't fair to me because I don't have that much time to practice. Anyways I feel guilty about not being able to join and then with how I am feeling about myself I just feel like something is wrong with me. To be honest I sometimes feel happier wearing my wigs because then I can pretend to be someone else for just a moment. I know this is probably all over the place but right now that is where my mind is, so if this doesn't make sense I will try my best to clear it up. -Kendra Wokal- I added a few photos of me so that you can see different sides of me to understand a bit more about me.
  10. I completely understand because there was at one point that I felt like that. I have a friend that is acting like that at this moment and all I am doing is telling them how much they mean to me as a friend and trying to cheer them up to the best of my ability. Sometimes just being a good friend is all they need and to be honest I feel like I am not a good friend to people but I try my best to be and in the end seeing my friend smile and helping them out in the best way possible, makes me feel good. You are already being a great friend to her! I don't know if this helps but I hope it does.
  11. A good friend of mine, Holly, is the sweetest person I have ever met, she is just an innocent cinnamon bun! Recently she sent me a message on facebook "Kendra...I've been going through a rough time lately, and just having you as a friend is making my college experience just a little bit happier...thank you for being a kind,smiling face I can count on seeing everyday." She has often invited me over to her apartment but there are times when I can't go over because she cancels last minute because she isn't feeling good and I worry about her. I feel like I should be able to do more as her friend, and I recently read in a post of hers that our art teacher is trying to talk her out of her watercolor comic illustration, because he believes comics are not a form of art. It has put so much stress on her and I want to be able to take that away without feeling like I am intruding...what should I do to help my friend? -Kendra-
  12. Amira I don't know if this will help, but I can understand your hesitation. I had this friend that I had a crush on and I was scared to tell him my feelings, even though everyone around thought we should date. I went to a snowball dance with him and that night we left early because neither of us wanted to dance and I was getting tired. Anyways, that night while we waited for the car to warm up I started to ramble on and on and well he leaned in and kissed me. And after that we started to date, but as we dated I realized we didn't hang out as much and so a bit after prom I broke up with him because I thought we wouldn't last long after he graduated. To be honest I could have gone and talked to him and ask him why we aren't talking like we used to , or why we don't hang out like we used to. But I didn't and I just broke up with him and after that we didn't talk or hang out anymore, it was so awkward and the sad thing is, is when we see each other all we do is make very small chat. Amira if you don't want to lose your friendship with her, talk to her, ask her if there is something bothering her. You will never know what to do unless you ask. I don't know if this helps and you don't have to listen to what I say but, I hope this helps some what.
  13. I have a boyfriend and he is currently living in Georgia with his parents, saving up money to come and live in my state of North Dakota. I met him almost 5 years ago on this website called Quotev and when I first started talking to him I thought he was a girl(we laugh about this when ever we bring up how we met). We became friends on Facebook and talked more and more and soon we started to date. We talk over skype and text and call when we have the chance. My family knows about him and where he lives, but they don't know we are dating. My family doesn't necessarily like long distance relationships because they believe they don't last long and that it really isn't dating. I think that my mom knows that there is something going on between me and my boyfriend and I think she is okay with it. If my dad were to find out, well that would be a different story, because I am still his little girl he worries about me, especially with all that has been going on with the internet. I have had relatives ask me if I am in a relationship and well every time they ask I lie and say that I am not and it hurts. Kaleb and I did agree though that we wouldn't tell anyone we were dating until we meet in person. I am starting to wonder if I should just tell my family I am dating, but I am also scared that they will say that I shouldn't be dating him until we actually meet or that I should break up with him just because he is so far from me. I love him so much, he brings out a part of me that doesn't come out often, a part that I usually will fake with others. What should I do? -Kendra-
  14. I have the opposite problem, I love giving gifts and if someone wants to give me a gift I will take it because they are offering it to me. In my family or within my group of friends we will ask each other if we are sure we want the gift or not. Usually they will ask "are you sure?" and if we don't want it we say "Yes we are sure." And they respond with "OKay, but if you change your mind let me know." If that makes any sense to you? I understand your concern and I have friends that have a hard time accepting gifts and feel like they need to give me something back in return and I will say "You don't have to get me anything if you don't need or want to. I am happy with just the emotional reward I get from it." I am sure with you declining a gift is fine and people will understand with an explanation. To be honest I give so much of myself to people, that when I receive a gift from someone, I accept it no matter how small it is. I don't know if this helps you but I hope it does.
  15. I am currently in an College Algebra class and though it is not my best subject I do the best I can! I do well with the homework but when it comes to tests or quizzes I usually don't do well because I either mix symbols up or I miss write something that causes me to mess everything up! I used to hate math with a passion! I still hate it because I don't really use it when I create art, if I were to do math that involves art I would use Geometry and even then I don't want to do it! I am glad you want to go into psychology and to be honest you shouldn't give up what you want to do! I actually write myself notes in math and then will redo a problem as often as possible until I eventually either give up or am satisfied with what I have done. I know how you feel and if you would like some help I am more than happy to help the best I can! I could even send you pictures of my notes and try my best to explain if you want! But no matter what don't give up on what you want to do just because of something that is difficult, I know you can do it! I hope what I have said makes sense and helps you! Best of luck!
  16. I understand what you are talking about and to be honest you have so many opportunities! It is a good thing that you are looking forward and if you really want to write, if that is your dream then go for it! I want to teach and I only have one try left to be in the education program and if I don't get in, I have a back up plan and I will still be able to teach art, I will still be able to teach my passion! You are doing so much more than I would and that is amazing!! You have different opportunities and you should go with what makes you happy and what you believe will give you the success you desire for a job! I don't know if what I said makes sense or helps but I am rooting for you with whatever you choose to do! You will go far!
  17. I am currently in a Intercultural Communication class, as to help with me being able to speak out properly in order to be a teacher. I sit by myself in the first row of the classroom and there are three guys that sit behind me. I usually can talk to a guy if there is just one. But there are three and I was kind of intimidated and in this class we have to have partners for discussion and because I am the only one in the first row, I have to talk to these guys. Well we had to talk about what we consider good things in culture and bad things in culture. The guy that sits in the middle ended up talking about a rapper that I had never heard of and asked if I thought he was bad and I just gave a confused look. He ended up naming some of the songs and I ended up making a sassy remark that is not me! I literally replied "I don't listen to crap! I listen to Celtic music!" And the guys looked at me surprised and ended up laughing and I for some reason I didn't feel bad about it. I am actually confused on where I got that confidence and sassiness from, because I don't usually talk like that to strangers. I feel a bit more comfortable around them now after that but I am still quiet and shy. What should I do to try and get that confidence to speak and discuss things more easily, without being so sassy? -Kendra- P.S - I have a paper I need to write for this class and it has to be about a song and how it fits with intercultural communication, would it be okay if I interviewed you Ryan? I chose to use one of your songs and I would like to get more information on it if that is okay with you?
  18. Artist22

    Abstract art

    This is an abstract piece that I created. If looked at in different ways the perspective changes.
  19. This was beautiful! I love it! It makes me feel so calm!
  20. This was my final for oil painting. The planets each have a word in Japanese characters. Family, Drawing, Music, Friends, Love, Joy, Happiness are all that is said, and on the gateway, it says the way. It took me two weeks to paint this. I am very proud of it.
  21. I recently got a new set of water colors and wanted to try them out and decided to draw a new favorite character and paint him! This is my first time I have painted a person with water color and outline with an ink pen.
  22. This was amazing!~ You have a great voice! I will download this once I have room on my computer!
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