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Drachi

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About Drachi

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  • Birthday 12/16/1998

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  1. Drachi

    Birthday Party

    Thank you very much, was 10am when you posted this, was still sleeping then after having a party yesterday ^^' It was a great Birthday ^^
  2. Took the Liebowitz Social Anxiety Scale Test.

    Apparently I have a "severe social phobia".

    I knew I was shy, but I didn't know it hit me that hard ^^'

    Just so you may know, will go back hiding in the shadows again ^^'

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Drachi

      Drachi

      I don't even know.

      I just know, that the fear is coming over me when it happens and then I can't stop it anymore.

      I feel cold, and it feels like something is crawling down my body. Thenmy mind starts to block any good thoughts and any way to get out of the feeling and I can just think about the fear, everything bad that could happen and that I am useless and unable to do things.

      It either ends with me stopping to try or me crying and then stopping.

    3. Zion Mesa

      Zion Mesa

      It's a little different with me. Usually I get a nervous feeling in my stomach which grows as I try to interact. My throat locks up and my brain starts saying "What are you doing? What are you doing? You're messing this up, they're going to hate you. Just run away."

      I've decided to make an effort towards combatting my anxiety recently. I think we could do it together... maybe. I'm starting by trying to find the source. So far, I've discovered that I have a fear of failure. Caused by the belief that people will resent me for making mistakes. 

      You can practice opening up with me and then move on to people around you later...if you want to. 

      There has to be a reason. I'm 19 myself and I'm tired of being afraid so I'm trying to solve my issues. Don't give up, I'm sure we can do it. Try to think about it. How can you stream on twitch but not talk to people? How can you have a girlfriend? There must be a specific environment that triggers your phobia. Frankly I'm jealous because l try to film myself not even live and I still get nervous.

      We all have our weaknesses but if not for you, how about for your girlfriend? Don't you think she deserves a better you?

    4. Drachi

      Drachi

      So, after a long time I'm finally able to answer (I hope).

      It was hard to me to answer, just because I never knew what words to use to speak about whats on my mind and after I finally had something, I had to move and had no internet connection for some time. Also it took some time for me to even see your message, because my notifications where all in my spam file...

      I also decided to make an effort, that's why I started streaming. It was really hard for me to come by the anxiety while doing so. In my first streams I rarely talked, I just played and had some music in the background. Now I'm far more able to talk freely and to react on the chat, I even added a facecam ^^'

      I think I just need to get used to something causing me anxiety, I still have this fear when new people show up in chat (or when I have to talk English because I only have English viewers ^^') but I learned how to overcome this feeling while streaming.

      Same goes for Discord and more precisely for my friends. Even though I try too, I can rarely approach a person that I don't know for a long time. But when people approach me and when  I get "forced" to speak and get used to the person I'm speaking to, I'm getting less anxious. That's why I need a long time to call someone a friend. First I need to get used to him/her and than I can start getting close enough to trust each other like friends are supposed to.

      For my girlfriend it also needed a lot of time. It helped me, that I meet her in theater class (I feel less anxious when being an actor) and that we had some shared friends. The first time we talked wasn't even because of class, but because we both were invited to go to cinema by our shared friends and we could talk about the film afterwards, because we both loved it and could relate to it.

      She herself has a bit of anxiety, so she knows how I feeling and she supports me as I support her. It's true, that she deserves a better me, everyone deserves a better everyone, nobody is perfect, but I can only better myself as much as I'm able to.

      So yeah, I have anxiety, but I can get around it by getting used to something, but I can't get used to everything at once. I can combat my anxiety for specific causes, but not the anxiety itself.

      I tried to think about the "why", about why I fear, about the reason. I still don't know what exactly causes It, sometimes it's just the thought about something, sometimes I don't have anxiety at all, but the reason why I'm anxious is because of some events in my past, some a bit further, some not so long ago. I prefer not to speak about the events directly, but that is as much as I can say about it.

  3. Heyho ^-^/ The title may be not that well chosen, but I don't know a better way to describe the suggestion in a low amount of words ^^' So... How about adding a connection of a members profile to other social media profiles. So for example you can add your twitch/twitter/smule/youtube/etc. username/profile or something like that to your profile her on a seperate page. There everyone can check if they may know you from other plattforms or can find you there. Maybe you could even connect the streamdonators for example with their profile here on the website ^^
  4. Drachi

    Drachi

  5. Drachi

    The dragon is rawring

    Thank you, I'm doing fine ^^' My girlfriend is with me right now ^^
  6. Drachi

    The dragon is rawring

    Good Day to you, who is taking his time to read my words. My Name is "Nicolas", but I'm mostly known as the german streamer and twitch user "GoldenDragonplay" or by my nickname "Drachi" ^^' I am a right now 19 years and 49 days young and a very shy person. I can sometimes be found in the stream chats of static or on his discord, but I'm mostly to shy to write or speak in the later ^^' I like playing all kinds of video games and I love listening to music. There were some very tough times in my life, some days I just wanted everything to end, but music helped me more then once. Static's Criminal Idol series even indirect helped me to find a girlfriend ^^' I still love his music more than any other kind. Maybe you and me will talk to each other sometime, maybe we will get to know each other or even become friends, but maybe I will never get to talk to you because of my shyness or something else ^^' In both cases I want you to know, that even whrn I don't know you I think you are a very important person and that you are someone, nobody should miss in life. Sincerely, Drachi PS.: If you want to ask me anything, feel free to do so, I will try to fight my ahyness and answer ^^'
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