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Princess_Yellow last won the day on March 6

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About Princess_Yellow

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  • Birthday 08/15/1999

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  1. At school my emotions are normal its like a normal day then when we go home my emotions go crazy i fight a lot with my sister and I couldn't control me emotions and if i do it gets really hard for me.
  2. Well, last weekend something happened at my friend's house.. The cable guy came over and he touched my friend and he almost touched me.. She sobbed in my arms and all I could do was hold her...The police are getting involved now.. I can't help but feel like it's my fault.. I should have done something! I should have done more.. I should have been with her at all times.. but I wasn't... I'm going to see her at school on Monday and I just.. I cry every time I think about it.. I'm a terrible friend. I wasn't there for her.. Now my cat is sick.. He won't eat and I just.. I hate it.. I'm afraid he won't get better.. I'm afraid he will die and I'll be left with the guilt of not trying harder.. The guilt of not knowing what was wrong and fixing it.. You know.. she cried in my arms. She repeated to same thing, over and over, and it broke my heart a little more every time.. "It's all my fault! I should have told him you were here! I should have fought back!"
  3. This is probably not the right place to be asking, but does anyone have any advice on dealing with gender dysphoria? •~•
  4. Hi guys. This is my first time posting, so I hope it goes through. I'm currently dealing with depression and worry to a level unheard of. I can't go a day without thinking of my future, and was wondering if you had any tips for someone starting art?
  5. Q: I've seen my IRL friends spend less and less time with me lately, I ended up spending a few days all by myself, no one even had time to talk over the internet which is unusual. I asked, and... all I got was silence and neglecting... Any tips on this situation?
  6. I'm really emotional and it gets complicated. I cant control it and I start to regret doing those stuff.
  7. What happens if I got scarred in the past? Like, What can I do if I got scarred in the past and how do I move on?
  8. This post... honestly kinda goes into a much deeper section of Invalidation... It kinda hits home about what BSS stands for and why it means so much to me. But I'll put it into a different section as others responded to my previous post before I was finished. And it would be wrong to place this there after their answers. Culture in college especially can be quite toxic or quite graphic. Or maybe I'm just too different from anyone who's in my "grade". Sexual references, drugs, swearing are very common among my peers especially the not quite mature males and often is something I am exposed to. Being in the science field right now, doesn't exactly help with that either. And no matter how I choose to react to what I'm exposed to, any complainants or requests I have are left forgotten or ignored. One in particular admits ignorance and yet he said that he'd still tell someone who's suffering something invalidating to their face just because it's funny or the way he sees the world. So, what do I do?... Who's crazy? Me when I try to hold on, or maybe when I try to play along? Neither seems right, and always is accompanied by pain. What's crazy? Abandoning acquaintanceship once and for all, or maybe trying to be near them at all? It's hard to feel close to those who don't want to understand... They say to make friends, But I'd ask, what does that even mean? (Referencing pattern to the song "Who's crazy/ My psycho-pharmacologist and I" from the musical Next to Normal.) I'm sorry... I know I don't like dealing with it, so why am I trying to reach out and share the pain? I don't want to share the pain... I just want help, and I don't know how else to explain except by sharing... But when I tried telling someone else who I trusted they asked me why I even shared it since they didn't want to see it, and only proliferated the pain... Yet, that's not all. I know I've said this before, but I deeply feel emotions. And I can feel the pain and the joy, the love and hurt of others as if it was my own. And it's a painful blessing. In college, tough issues have been addressed. This time, it was about cancer, and while our professor told us about a story of his neighbor who had it, I had to run out of the room (literally) to avoid melting down from a tsunami of sadness and pain. I don't get it... You guys talk about how you can control your emotions. But I can't do that! I couldn't help but weep for her... And I tried for a majority part of class to not panic about the subject as a whole and to stay to get the notes and be like everyone else and not cause a rukus. I even had to put in my headphones trying to keep the peace just enough to hold on which is pretty rude to do right? But I couldn't. And I can't. I can't stop these feelings, they are too strong. It doesn't mean I don't atleast try to control my actions but I can't do what you guys do... Am I really that crazy?... Am I so weak and fragile that I cry at what others didn't? Yet, only three people actually cared to see if I was okay. I get that it's not like they should or anything... But If I had left sooner, would anyone have asked at all? Constantly wistfully, Someone comes close to me, asking me, "what's going on?" or blasting right past me, with no sense of compassion or empathy, and honestly? It's uncanny, passively grasping for some kind of tapestry that could tell me, not overwhelm me, for an answer of why they abandon me, while I am frantically panicking while holding a crying smile, waiting patiently, lingering to hope of the day, the way, to say and not be forgot, by those who care about me. (P.S. ^ Poem of Closing provided by the help of the Holy Spirit)
  9. Well, while talking with Jesse about an issue on my mind, he noticed that within the span of three seconds that I had unconsciously invalidated myself or my feelings/situation. And while writing this, had done it again hilariously enough. Or maybe not so hilariously. >.>; So let me tell a small story for a bit of context. In the field of science, many are focused on leaving a legacy or being the first who makes a discovery. One of my professors even told us that scientists in academics are often based on their worth and prestige on how many papers that they release and have behind their name. Yet anywhere I turn, I find that I seem different since I only desire to help be a part of the solution to a problem. It's not about being the one who is remembered in history, but rather being someone who got us to find a way to save lives or improve them. That's not something I hear others say, and it's something that makes me feel like I'm in the wrong since that's not what you are supposed to aim for. In summary, I always feel so different and that being different in the way that I am is wrong. In many ways, this is something I think has been programmed into my mind since I was young as you guys might know a small bit about. So do you have any advice, in particular, on ways to help lovingly confront my subconscious thoughts?
  10. My best friend is dying and I'm pretending to be chill about it I guess. My life is falling apart. I haven't been eating, my best friend is dying, I'm losing my home, I'm in debt, and I don't know what to do. There's literally no food here, otherwise I would've gotten something to eat, but I'm starving. And my friends organs are failing cause she's got a cyst in her lungs and stomach damage... There is no positive in my life right now. My family is throwing me out and my only good friend is dying. I've talked to literally everyone I could. No one can help me...
  11. Is Static happy? And how does he stay happy?
  12. I have a serious problem. I'm getting kicked out in April with no where to go and no one to help me. I am so terrified and don't know what to do!
  13. What would you do if you had to choose to either: Live with people who care and love you, giving you what you need, but leaving many loved ones, or getting the opposite... It's hard... Any advice?
  14. I was told by my crush that she likes me, so it should be clear to start dating but I'm scared of a few things. We both don't want the school to know because the bullying would be intense and annoying for both of us. I also don't know how to properly ask her out. I'm really nervous about it. I told her I wasn't ready to ask yet and she said she would be ready when I am. I'm also scared about how I'm not great at having conversations or communicating and such. And I don't want that to ruin everything in the end. I'm mainly afraid of how if I experiences another heartbreak I'll go back to how I used to be from the pain. So may I have your advice with all this? I'll be watching the stream but not talking to keep anonymity.
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