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Princess_Yellow last won the day on November 7

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About Princess_Yellow

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  • Birthday 08/15/1999

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  1. One question I have is everyone always tell you to love yourself before loving others but how do I know when I like myself? It’s nothing that drastic, it’s just I’m a rather neutral person altogether. I have a hard time figuring out my feelings for other people so it’s even harder figuring out myself.
  2. I know someone online. They know I like them, they've known for a while. I sent a letter confessing my love, and they act all 'oohh, my emotions are a mess! I'm in love!" Yada yada yada- when I confront them about whether or not they're talking about me, they avoid the topic. 100%."I don't want to answer that." And silence. They know I love them. They know I'd be okay with it if they didn't love me- I've been assuming that this whole time. Yet they avoid answering now? Our relationship is on the line- they could tell me "no" and hurt me, and i'd be fine with it. They could say 'yes' and i'd be happy. They could tell me 'i like you, but it wouldn't work' etc, etc and it would be fine. Instead, they blatantly say 'I don't want to answer that'?!?! With past experience with silence, ambiguity, and manipulative types, all of my trust for them is gone. I'm not chasing someone that can't tell me a simple answer for something that really isn't that big of a deal. I'm not risking that kind of pain, again. I love them, and their intelligence, and kindness, but I just can't trust them. Surely I'm not the only one that finds this extremely suspicious? I don't know what to do, anymore.. I've chosen to cut them from my life, and told them if they value our relationship- platonic or otherwise- they would talk to me, as that's all I had wanted in the first place. There's no gain or loss in communicating. Actively avoiding either answer makes me feel like they are hiding something- like there is something they don't want to admit. Heck, they said it themselves- "I don't want to answer that." If they valued our relationship, they would have talked even a little with me. But they ran instead, as if caught in a lie. I gave them so much, and they can't give me a few words. Not even an explanation. I'm. not. having it.
  3. *During Outage* So my childhood friend is suffering greatly at the degradation and loss of his relationship with his girlfriend. It's been becoming a long trend of them having troubles with hurting each other. He originally was going to bring it up to her on a day he expected, but she canceled it. Then 4 days later, unexpectedly he was put into that position. So currently he's been really down from it. He said it was mutual as they both saw how the relationship was coming apart. But is there any words of comfort or advice that might help him? Or any advice that I can do to help him get through this? He is Christian, so is you have any verses or stuff, that would be good for this person too.
  4. *During Outage* I fell in love, and the girl appeared to too, and we got to know each other, unfortunately its all online and I can't be there for her, shes under a lot of stress, and I wish I could help her. But I accidently did something to cause her more stress And I'm worried about her, I know shes strong but, I dont know how strong she is. I was trying to ask my friends how to be best for her, and I showed them all my dm's She is under a lot of stress she has a lot of responsibilities, from school, work, family, and other things . And she is having hardships with family right now, she's been hurt before by other people. I dont know whats going on in her mind, but I'm worried about her, I honestly only care for her happiness. But lately she's been ignoring me, and I'm trying my best, but all I can do is trust her to not hurt herself
  5. Today, I discovered I was messaged something on the website. When I checked it, it was from someone who I had seen their name before, but we had never really talked. By the time I finished I was really shocked. They were like, Hey, I wanted to tell you something. I think that we are meant to be together, to cut straight to the point. They then talked about their belief in Tarot cards and how they had been sent signs being told that they would find their soulmate soon and that they suspected that I was that soulmate. They then went on to talk about what they wanted in a relationship, which was finding someone whom they could trust and talk to without fear of abandonment or judgement, and they wanted to start a family together. They continued saying they saw these qualities in me and while they recognized that this "might be" scary, or intimidating, but they couldn't wait any longer. "I'm tired of being alone, of being stuck. I'm ready for my love to move forward, hopefully with you in it." Since I had not seen it yet, I had not responded and they sent two more messages. One was asking for my thoughts and the other was responding more impatiently saying "Just in case you're curious, yes I do still love you and no I haven't moved on. The wait here is killing me, so could you please give me an answer?" alongside a YouTube video with a love song. I know that for me I don't want to have that type of relationship and I only just saw this today. But I have no idea how to respond properly. Please help me, I know my answer will probably hurt them, but I want to do it in a loving way instead of my initial reaction which was "Huh? Who are you?" Sincerely, Anonymous
  6. I have had trouble with who I want to be, I have this picture in my head that I want to be someone who is funny and people like to talk to. I want to seek thrills and enjoy many crazy things. Sadly I don't want to lose the friends I have because their so nice to me, and I don't have the courage to be that person. How would I be that person and is it possible to change that much?
  7. I'm not sure if this is a question for DWW or DFF, but I love singing and it took me some time to realize that I didn't sing that well. How would I improve my voice? How can I hear me singing from an outsider's perspective? Some people tell me that I sing well, others tell me I need improvement to varying degrees. And the more I read into singing, such as transitioning to falsetto smoothly and singing well in falsetto, better control over my chest voice, etc. make it seem like an ocean that I should map. I still can't do something seemingly as simple as singing a particular note exactly one octave higher. Additionally I'm terrible at assessing my own abilities, which I something I need to be able to improve and do the best I can. I don't know what many of the things are that I'm capable of. Does it seem too spread out? Also, because I don't know the extent of my abilities, I end up hurting others sometimes.
    Spooktacular! There's nothing more special then a Halloween waltz that is mysterious as it is mischievous~ With special memories from Ragnarok Online, someday this will be a Halloween classic that will haunt our memories. In a good way of course.
  8. Thank you for your comment, I appreciate your offer. And maybe sometime we could talk. As for this post, while what I originally wrote for it has been talked about, I guess I'd still like to use this thread for something. So I hope you'll bare with me on this and this post doesn't offend anyone. ... I am strong enough. If there was something I've always been told is that God doesn't give you stuff you can't handle. Though I'm more left wondering why He made me that way. It's probably important to give a little background to my life right now. I'm back at college and it's mostly going fine except for one particular class I have called Quantitative analysis. And before you go say "Wow, that's a high level class. No wonder it's gonna be tough." it's got nothing to do with that for the reason it's obscenely horrendously hard. The class is supposed to be "flipped classroom" where you learn the material on your own and then go to class where the teacher would go more indepth about the topics. Instead this is a class where you teach yourself using only the textbook and a few flimsy questions that are supposed to help you know what's on a test that you will have every class period. And not only that, when you come to class and they make some announcements, you can ask questions about what you don't even know if you do or don't understand, and when questions are done it's quiz time. Whether that be a 1 minute of questions or 10 mins, just hope that you've written the entire chapter section that will be on that test and understand it well enough to answer the picky questions that might be looking for one specific word that it written somewhere amongst those 15 or so pages. Every Tuesday and Thursday like clock work you are expected to be able to do this except for maybe that luck day that you'll have an exam instead. And even when you ask questions, sometimes the professor can't even solve them or tells you to ask someone else in the math or science tutoring center instead. This isn't about the professor being a bad person. They are a good person i'm sure and I think that they are probably brilliant at research and laboratory practice. But... I am not good at this type of thing. i don't think anyone is. As I stated earlier, I am strong enough. I can pull through. I know that I have a support system that wants to help em and despite having an anxiety attack for most of these quizzes 'This too shall pass." And I hope it does... So much... Why God? Why give me this strength? Why did you make me so strong and yet so weak? What are you trying to teach me in these moments where my soul is so beaten and battered and my soul weeping in sadness and fright. A smart fragile mind trapped with the spirit of a strong kindhearted soul. What makes it truly hard to hold this strength, is knowing that you can do it. Knowing that this isn't the end, but yet you'll be here for a very very long time. And that you should be grateful. Shouldn't I be? Hurray! I get to experience anguish, heartbreak, fear, sadness, insanity, loneliness (desire for comfort in company of others), unfocusedness, failure, and many other wonderful gifts of hurt and pain and suffering. And if I could just get past that tiny little gift I could see the love and compassion on the other side right? I'm honestly really lucky to be where I am, but this cross isn't lighter because of the gifts I've been given. And I'll be honest. Despite knowing I can make it. I'm not really sure it's worth it on the other side of this. If there's anything you can say, or even just a hug, I'll be trying to work on this working on this class while the streams going since I need to get that 6 hours in at some point.... Much love and prayers, Princess P.S. At this point in time I am pursuing a formal complaint about this to the Dean of the college of Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics, and Management. I don't know how to do that or even if it'll be anything more then word in one ear and out the other, but I don't want for anyone to have to go through this ridiculousness as it's not something that I feel is befitting of what my college tries to stand for. So I wish to try and bring this to the attention of someone who could do something about it. And my teacher sent out an email today about having complaints coming to her first about it. Which I think means she know that someone is doing it... But I know that it's probably me... And I don't know how to take that too.
  9. ... I could use a better perspective on something. And it's in line with other topics of (the other night) tonight. Which makes me wonder if I should really speak at all. For~ You~ See~ If I did not share it, then you would not care about it dear~ Because you wouldn't even get to know that it was here~ And after all it's a lot like complaining, where it won't matter to those who aren't in it~ And even those who do won't really give a shoe about this whole kaboot! Whooohooo~ You see, my voice doesn't really matter, it could be even shattered yet you wouldn't know, it's silent tone If it's only grief for in the moment Then it's selfish for me to show it I'm really not that good a poet... I wish I hadn't sewn it But regardless of the stitching, I hope it's not too much wishing. Thank you for taking the time. The rest is below if you want to read it and thank you Sumner Kagen for your posts, it really meant a lot to read them.
  10. I am trying to reform the USA education system, but I encounter many problems because fixing the system is intensive.. I see many problems with the system, but it is hard to convince the majority of students. How can I fix a system that everyone conforms to? The majority of people buy into the system.. Of course not all believe it is perfect. Our government spends 650 billion on the school system, yet it is insufficient. If we change one thing in a broken system, it is still broken. I want to abolish it. I am currently writing a PHD style thesis, and I plan to work with several professors. Many professor have been talking on the internet about this problem. I have to change it now.. Man, I feel like the system is deadlocked. I don't even think governments will reform on such a scale. Nor on a tiny scale.
  11. I have been overwhelmed in school for various reasons today and i hate it. I talked to my counselor about it and that really helped. Thankfully I get time off due to the Hurricane. Also I’m a perfectionist, so I just basically shut down when I get something wrong the first time. I know that giving up is easier than sticking with it. Just to clarify I have autism and ADHD.
  12. I brought up a couple concerns about a month ago and you guys helped me figure myself out and get started on patching things up. Now I'm in college again, happily maintaining a job, and meeting new people. It hasn't been easy, but I've been listening a lot to Aiko's song in criminal idol when things start breaking down. Thank you so, so much. To everyone else, their advice really works, heed it well.
  13. Soooooooo uh. Long story short, my mother stole my father's credit card and then 'kidnapped' my siblings in a sense. It was just supposed to be a vacation but now shes saying shes not coming back... And I'm really struggling to cope in healthy ways. She ran away and tried to trick me into coming with her. I've actually been doing really good to cope in healthy ways but its getting harder. And, I know I come on here sometimes and just jump right into the deep stuff but its because I trust you guys, its not that I'm trying to fish for attention or anything. Me and my Dad both feel so lonely and sad... and honestly him and my girlfriend are some of the only things keeping me going. My sister moved out of state and now my family is in shambles. I'm basically searching for any other coping skill ideas.... I don't wanna start cutting again. I've been doing good to stop and I don't wanna break that. Music has basically flown out the window as a coping skill for me.... I cant find the inspiration to sing anymore. Heck I even turned down a paying performing gig because of it.
  14. Can I have an opinion or a few about something? I wrote a letter for my girl crush with things I couldn't pull myself to tell her. Some of my friends have read it and thought it was really sweet. Though I'm not sure if I should give it to her. We haven't talked in months, I was a terrible friend, and she's seeing someone else. I guess three people here think I should give it to her. Honestly I have no clue whatsoever. Will it matter or make a difference? What if things get worse? I guess you could say I used to be kind of a tsundere.
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