My mom raised all 3 of her kids to be nice, kind, and honest, and from the age of 7, my brother who is the oldest would tell me that I was super nice and helpful, but I should also look after myself and not overdue it. He would tell me these things because he said that he know's I'm trying to be nice, but people can take advantage of someones kindness, and he didn't want that to happen to me. Now that I'm 18, I never would have expected my older sister to be the first one to abuse my kindness.
I was being used by my sister who is 21 and is 3 years older then me, but now we are having the worst fight we ever had. My sister's name is Sarah, and she's in a relationship with a guy who we'll call Sam. Sarah and i are really close, she's like my second mother and best friend, and i tell her everything because she's always there for me. A few months ago she met Sam through her friend, and they started texting each other a lot. Sarah would tell me the conversations she had with him because she said that he was really sweet to her, but when she allowed me to real the conversations, i got a lot of red flags, and i didn't think this guy was good enough for her. When i told this to Sarah, she got angry and started saying that I had no right to tell her my opinion on the people she likes because i can't even develop a crush on people, so i wouldn't know what loving a person is like. I felt bad that I was so quick to judge Sam without even meeting him, but the way he texted my sister was unsettling. I apologized and I told her why I felt uneasy about the guy, but she then ignored me. This was the first time Sarah stopped talking to me from anger, so I didn't know what to do. A few days later we talked the misunderstanding out and hugged, and during our hug she told me that she's glad we made up, because she agreed to date Sam, and needed to talk about how it happened to me. Sarah said she had no intention on informing our parents about him. This was bad because in my family, if we want to be in a relationship with anyone, there's a traditional procedure that you spend a month of talking and getting to know each other before you can date. This was the first time my sister didn't do this with a boy she was interested in. Sarah made me introduce myself to her boyfriend on Facetime, and from then on I really didn't like the guy.
When Sarah and Sam went on dates, my sister would lie to my mom and tell her that she's taking me to the mall so we might be home late. But in reality, my sister forced me to the mall and abandoned me so she can be with Sam. I don't like being left alone, so being abandoned in a mall with no one I know is scary, and I'm terrified that I'll be an easy target to kidnap because I'm alone. So I get super paranoid and try to talk with people on the discord server to stay calm and not cry, but my data can only last for so long. Once the mall closes, Sarah picks me up and drives back to Sam's house where a group of Sam's friends are playing games and talking very inappropriately. The people in that house scare me, so I always stay far away and blast music on my headphones to not think of the place I'm in. once Sarah decides to leave she makes up a story in the car that I have to tell my mom, but I feel bad that I'm lying to her for my sister's sake.
i didn't want lie and be placed in uncomfortable situations anymore, and I don't want to be used by my older sister. I think she knows that my parents won't approve of Sam for the same reasons I do. But every time I tell her to let our parents meet Sam, she doesn't want to let me talk, and starts using the fact that I never had my first kiss, a love confession or boyfriend as a factor to bully me. She even called me ugly and said that I should keep my hair long so it can hid my face. So after a month, I realized I'm being too nice about this situation, and yelled at her saying that at least I wasn't lying about a hidden relationship to her own family. I yelled saying how I felt used because I was being forced to be alone in a place that scares me for hours, and being forced and bullied to lie to our mother for her sake. I never yelled at Sarah before, so she just walked out of our room. She worked in a few hours, but then once she left she went missing for 23 hours. she came back home eventually, but she acted like nothing was wrong, and wouldn't tell our parents where she was. Now I feel like I should tell my parents about Sarah's boyfriend, because I don't think it's a good relationship. Because of it, my sister is being more distant from our family, acting different and even bullying me. Is telling the right thing? and what if Sarah hates me if i do. she's my only sister.