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Showing content with the highest reputation on 11/30/18 in all areas

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    It's quite intriguing how this shows itself in our lives. Especially as you post this question, similar to one I had asked. Great minds think alike? And I'm hesitant to answer because of the two-fold issue that any response is generally going have. First, the intended, to encourage, and second the incidental, a longing. So, I'm still not through with the same issue, though I thought I was. Indeed sometimes things like this take years to learn and grow through, (25 for me so far) I'm going to start with a story of a similar situation in my life, which had eternal consequences. For me, it was with my friends. Friends whom I am very close with. There are three, sometimes four of us, we grew up together, went to church together, always make it around for any event in the others' lives. But it didn't always feel that way. Especially when we were going through college. I went to college away from all of my friends, but I think what really got me was that even though I made some fantastic friends, indeed perhaps my closest friend, I made in college. But that didn't stop the feelings of loneliness, the feelings of missing out. And I went to a dark place, a very dark place, because my answers to loneliness were not healthy answers. They were not the right answers. And my friends, they didn't seem to notice or didn't seem to care. And that hurt. Now, I've been incredibly blessed to have been found by Christ, but I remember thinking when I was. None of my family or friends even asked. I went to church my whole life and no one even asked how I was doing in a walk with God, much less if I was even walking. And it stings, it's hard, and breeds distrust. And this isn't a happy story,. Because I felt the same thing when my wife broke up with me. None of my friends seemed to notice, except the one I lived with, and he just didn't want to see me in pain, he told me to leave her and be better. But none of my other close friends even seemed to care. And perhaps this isn't that encouraging, but I want you to know that there are going to be dark times. But when the darkness comes don't lose your self to it, cause the darkenss only comes to bring you Hell. But in those moments, in the dark, alone, either in feelings or in actuality. I learned two things. One, my God is with me, always even to the end of the age. And I know that I am not ever alone anymore. Second, when I feel alone, because even when you know things to be true you can and will feel something different, I've learned to refocus what I set my mind on, whether it be God or just unfocusing from the negative. Most of the time when I feel alone, I have to take a hard look at what I'm listening too, and who I'm surrounded by, and if those people/things are adding to your loneliness it might be time to ditch them for something better. Turn off that sad love song and start listening to StaticPs No one's in this alone. Stop watching soaps and romances and start listening to motivational videos and watching movies with an uplifting message. Stop talking to your friends about your issues (collective issues, I want to clarify that you don't want to have a group that gossips and complains, but you do want people you can talk to when you are facing challenges.) And start talking to God. As a conclusion, however, I have learned in order to be heard I need to be honest, with myself and others about how I am feeling. Even if it's anger, resentment, self-loathing. These are not good things, but if we hide them under a face of "I'm fine," or "I just need to not focus on myself" we miss out on the fact that we are people too. That you matter a lot. And it's okay to say you aren't alright and have that seen and heard by people. Even people like us. We love you and are so glad you are here. *Hugs* But back to my original statement, the second unintended issue with this response, I am not present to you. What I mean is this: no matter how much I care, or try, or respond, or worry. I am not there for you. I am just a person on the internet and though I look forward to a day when I'm not and I can meet you and the many other wonderful people here, today is not that. And I don't want you to be sad because there seem to be great people online but the people in real life aren't as good, at listening, or hearing, or caring. And maybe this isn't you and you can just ignore it, but then this response is for people like me who didn't believe. There are people out there who care about you more than you know, because after talking with my friends from the story earlier. They said, we cared and loved you and prayed for you that entire time, but you cut yourself off and we didn't know how to approach you. You see the people are out there who listen and notice and care, and they are the people you don't notice, noticing. People care, people do love you, and they are there for you. Please don't forget that. It's the basis for the Real Ones. Because we're out there and we notice. Best of luck Princess and God Bless during those difficult times. Love, Joseph Bohan One of the Real Ones
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