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  1. Today
  2. I'm gonna make them all (probably), with Aoke next. I haven't finished any besides this though
  3. Love it, do you have any others?
  4. Yesterday
  5. Since everyone on the last live stream encouraged me to share pretty much everything I have, I figured I'd give you all the poems I've written (only 7 thus far, but I took a year-long break after the first three, and started writing again lately). I'll also provide some background information about what the poems mean, which gets pretty personal in some cases. So yeah, I'm gonna post every day starting from today (fitting as it's World Poetry day today :p). This first one is called "Past" I exist here, silently. In my dim room, surrounded by desaturated floor tiles. Surrounded by darkness and unorganized files. If I'd listen closely, I would hear the past. The past where the brightness still lasts. The past where I'm surrounded by the comforting light. Surrounded by the sweet cyan sky and the crisp white. There I existed, quietly. Waiting for the darkness. Waiting for the floor tiles to turn colorless. But I exist here, silently. I breathe in and listen closely Commentary: So, this poem had a more philosophical motive behind it. It really isn't personal, but it speaks about how things always seem brighter in retrospection. With the lines "Waiting for the darkness" etc, it points out the stupidity of being stuck in the past or just saying "oh things were so much better in the good ol' days", and also doing nothing to make the present feel more enjoyable. This poem was the very first poem I ever composed, and I'm not a huge fan of the wording of it all. As my first poem, I wanted to stuff all kinds of stuff in it that really didn't compliment the over-all picture. The line of "unorganized files" obviously just wants a rhyme for the first line :P. There's also a reference to a song very very very personal to me, "Four Years Gone" by Sleepaways. I'll go more in depth of that in a later post and poem, but in there was a line "And if you listen closely, you could hear the past". Sure, the personal touch was nice, but it felt shoehorned into this poem. Over-all, it's a good first poem, but with a bit of a shabby structure. Let me know what you think! I'll post another one tomorrow, called "The Storyteller". Matt/Cwilk
  6. And here's chapter two! I just figured out how to completely fix this, wahoo! Chapter Two After the students got on their buses, I begin to get my plans ready for tomorrow. Opening my folder for my first period, I see that a few of my papers are missing. I begin searching the other folders in an attempt to find the homework papers. Maybe I had dropped them somewhere when I came to school today. That must be it. I decided to search the ground and end up knocking down the folder, the papers flying across the floor. As I pick them up, I find one of the missing homework sheets. Then another. I continue picking them up as I find more and more papers that I don’t remember seeing before. In my confusion, I drop a pen. It was a red pen and it rolled under my desk. I forgot about it almost immediately as I file papers back into their folders. I find all of the missing homework. I laugh at my mistake as I read through them and begin marking them. Standing up to get my bag and laptop, I notice my red pen on the ground. Bending down to pick it up, I see more pens. They’re all red. Every last one. There were dozens of red pens, all strewn across the classroom floor. I had sworn that it was clean just a moment ago, but I was distracted by the missing homework assignments. Picking up all the pens, I noticed the time. Over an hour had passed. That wasn’t possible. I had only graded papers for a few moments and I had spent the rest of the time cleaning up.
  7. I didn't want to believe it, wanted it to be him framed or something but I was wrong.He was caught again, this time he didn't turn to the better though. This time he wanted to be caught, to make a statement. He stole from one of our Chinese donators, saying that he had ulterior motives. The Chinese may brought the word 'Kiasu' here, but I have seen hope in them. After all, Borneo held up fine didn't it? Three countries on one island, and they made it beautiful. That one guy named by the people to be the Minister of Unity, Mr Potato was also a Bornean. The Chinese take care of their people, and on the East side of my country it meant everyone, more than just Chinese.
  8. Our multicultural country have Chinese as the second highest percentage of race, half of mine being the highest. That's the reason I was tolerant, I was only half blooded. However, he is full blooded, and the bloodbath that happened on Friday changed him, changed us. A certain insensitive comment from a Chinese politician changed his perception. He can't trust them anymore.
  9. I met him again sometime after we graduated Secondary school. The very fateful day he decided it was a good idea to lift my wallet. It wasn't, and the men around me beat his face in. I only recognized him after the dust settled, and I tool him to a clinic with a lengthy lecture along the way. We got closer though, as we managed to catch up. I learnt that he wasn't doing it for the money, at least not anymore. He did it because I apparently looked like a shady guy. Maybe he was right. I can't let it slide though, and an opportunity was taken. I've decided to drag him to volunteer work with me. I could watch over him this way, and he could do something about this community with questionable characters. We both found joy in atonement and he took it a step further by going full time as I had to enroll into University. I thought I was right, to bring him into an organization where the adults are kind and are able to guide us young men. He was one of the few people that kept me up to date with my hometown situations but it changed recently. He stole again.
  10. Turn it upside down, and you'll see the real tittle It hasn't been a week since the last, but my problems know no pause. So here we are again because apparently I left my back exposed. I don't know which is the case; are rogues drawn to me or I am the one drawn to them? I loved people, yet nowadays I'm starting to reconsider who deserve it. I've been backstabbed a couple of times in my life. "Hold no ill intent, they were just misguided" was what I used to tell myself. Maybe I'm being too hopeful, maybe I'm being a hypocrite. My school days got making questionable decisions, a lot of them I still regret to this day. One of them was resorting to violence. I studied in an All Boys Secondary School (13-17 years old) so a lil show of dominance was to be expected. I was small (still am) so I looked like an easy target. I held back for as long as I could, but one day I just decided to change my approach. I hate to admit it, but I remember having some sort of pleasure over going overboard. I kept telling myself "You didn't start it, but enjoy it as you end him". I hated it, the fact that it worked. I walked a lonely path, safe but alone over the next year before a fateful encounter with a few young men that changed my life. However, that'll be the story for another day With the nature of what I do, having a lot of acquaintances is necessary. I wanted to call them friends, but I doubt how I've been trying to use that word over the years. Remember, I'm a person of questionable character that is drawn to/drawing the ones that also have questionable characters. One of them was a thief.
  11. This is probably not the right place to be asking, but does anyone have any advice on dealing with gender dysphoria? •~•
  12. Last week
  13. Coming out post! 

    So... I haven't been on this site in a while. I am hoping you will understand. 

    I feel more masculine, I did research on this, I am comfortable saying this.

    I am transgender

    My Trans Name is Logan. 

    I hope you guys accept me! 


  14. Alright, let's get started with Papers. There are seven chapters, so this will take exactly a week to come out. Chapter One I beamed as I handed out the graded tests at the end of the class period. “You all did very well, students.” Many smiled along with me. Only a few rolled their eyes at my cheerfulness. “Each of you got at least a B. That’s one of the best tests yet!” Doodling, one student did not have a reaction to getting their test back. Of course, he was my best student yet. He never got less than perfect on each and every paper. Sometimes I would wonder if he should be moved up to the next grade. “Miss Briggs, why are you so happy today?” a student asked from up front. It was Daniel, the student I had mentioned before. “Well, I’m just very proud of you all. You have all grown so much since you first walked into my classroom.” Some of my students, David, Noah, and James, mocked me in the back of the classroom, but I ignored them. Since they did so well, I would let it slide this time. The bell rang, marking the end of the day. “You’re all free to pack up now. Don’t forget to put your Chromebooks away!” The students rushed out of the classroom hurriedly, pushing past one another to leave. The only student left was Daniel. He stood up and walked out of the room, knowing he still had three minutes to pack his things. I laugh a bit at the chaos outside of my room. *Again, I am unsure of why my computer keeps doing this. Apologies!*
  15. This post is not about the darkest time in my life, although this is not a good thing. So, after(sort of) getting over everything that happened in my freshman year, i was still trying to meet new people and get new friends and it was working. I was surrounded by nice people that i enjoyed being around and that wanted me to be happy. But then in August of 2017, i met a girl named Haley. For some reason i found myself getting attracted to her quicker than normal, and looking back now i see letting myself catch feelings as a huge mistake. I started to seperate myself from all of those friends to spend more and more time with her, and it only got worse as time went on. Eventually, in March of 2018, I asked out Hailey and we started dating, another big mistake. She had many issues from her past and she used me to resolve them, but not in a healthy way. Whenever she got upset or angry in any way, she would yell at me and insult me, and it hurt. A lot. At the time i didnt realize that it was hurting so much, but got worse and worse every time. Sometimes when it was a particularly bad day i would lose my temper and yell and scream back, which made her cry and made me feel even worse. And throughout this all i was still seperating myself to be with this girl, and i eventually stopped talking to most of them, but i didnt realize what path i was walking at the time. Finally, shortly after thanksgiving of last year, we got into a massive fight and i came to my senses. I broke up with her, which was very hard because she cried a lot and kept texting me. I told her that i would still be friends with her, but after the 4th time of her trying to get back together with me and her screaming and crying and telling me how much of a horrible person i was for not getting back together with her. All of the friends that i hadnt ended up leaving were also her friends, so they stopped talking to me. So, after 8 months of dating her, i lost everything for the second time in high school. I tried reconnecting with some of the people i had left earlier in the year to be with Haley, but i wasnt very successful with any of them. Luckily my best friend, who at this point ive almost known for 5 years, was very accepting of me and was just happy i was back. I ended up meeting some new people through him and they are the people that i primarily hang out with, which is nice, but i still have so many regrets from those 8 months i spent dating Haley, and really i regret almost everything i did from the time i had met her to the time that we broke up, and the following weeks where she tried to get back together with me. I know this is a long story but i just want some help moving on from my mistakes.
  16. Interesting ending definitely, I liked the story a lot!
  17. The final chapter of Watching is upon us. Chapter 4 Akira sat up in panic, breathing heavily. “Akira, are you okay?” Mr. Ita asked, feeling her forehead. She didn’t speak, only mumble, but what she mumbled was something only heard in nightmares. “It… It’s after me. It’s after me.” Akira began breathing rapidly. “Akira, calm down. You just fainted. Nothing’s after you.” Ayumi whispered. The End And that's all there is of Watching. Let me know what your thoughts are about it! Next up will be the story Papers. That will be posted tomorrow.
  18. My absolute favorite would have to be the Seven Deadly Sins (I hope the next season comes out soon).
  19. @ChickenhaylNice, that's a lot of anime! Which one is your absolute favorite though?
  20. Hi Listori, You can try the chat button at the top of the screen... Hopefully that will work
  21. Alright~ I have decided that I will post one chapter (until I run out of the two stories that I have completed) each day. Chapter 3 How could it have found her? She was so careful, so careful. She began to shake uncontrollably. The sharp sound of knives rubbing together began to get louder. It grew ever closer as her breathing got louder. Louder. She could no longer stay still, waiting. A scream echoed through the abandoned neighborhood as Akira Saito, gripped with fear, ran into the woods with her last bit of strength. Something followed closely in the shadows, watching. Waiting. This was the end. “お別れを言う,小さな女の子.” “Goodbye, little girl,” it whispered, running the knife across her cheeks. It was cold and sharp as it rubbed against her skin. “Please… please, no…” Akira cried. It chuckled. “Oh, yes. A fighter, I see?” “Please.” “It’s too late.” It grinned at her, it’s mouth curving maliciously. It. Stabbed. Her. She couldn’t breathe anymore. Gasping, choking. “Sleep well,” it chuckled. *AHA I fixed the text!* There is one more chapter of this story that I will post before moving on to the next one.
  22. Here's a cutesy Hareka from Star Blush Girls! I'll probably eventually make one for all members of SBG. Since Hareka is my favorite, I started with her ⭐ Matt/Cwilk
  23. Debated whether I should actually post this or not cause it seems too small to me, but I guess I can include some other things in here too that have to deal with the subject. I have no friends. No one. I lost everyone. Every day feels so lonely. Why can't I go outside and make friends? I live in the middle of nowhere. I'm not exaggerating, either. All that surrounds my house are woods, and they aren't even fun to explore because it's just rows of trees with spiders everywhere. No mountains to climb (like there was when I lived in New York... I still miss those times). I can't make friends at school because I've already tried in all my classes. People either A- avoid me, B- aren't interested in me, C- talk to me once and then never again despite my efforts to converse with them, or D- I'm not interested in them despite getting to know them and we have nothing in common or, in most cases, they're under bad influences (such as obsessive over drugs and/or NSFW things). I've tried every single class, but there's no one that doesn't fall under that category. What about Discord? Well, I'm banned from Static's, everyone left me or ignored me and still ignores me despite me asking and saying everything I can to get them to talk to me, and all the servers I'm in are dead (once again, despite my efforts to converse). I literally have nothing and no one but books and the DWW livestreams, and that's not enough to keep me from what I'm about to go into. Also, I'm not interested in video games that much anymore (partially because I have no one to play with, but I also have just grown tired of them). I'm lonely, which leads onto... Recently, every day gets worse and worse. I try to be negative about it and say "things can't get worse," but still they get worse. I try to be positive and say, "maybe things will get better," and life sets up the perfect opportunity for a happy ending, but then I blink and all of the sudden the darkness has voided out any light and hope that I once had. Things still get worse. Everything continues to feel heavy. It gets so heavy and hurts so much, but there's nothing I can do. I feel so helpless and no one helps or notices or even seems to care. Everyone says "I've lost my chances" and that I've hurt them. I don't want to hurt anyone. Things get so heavy I can't help but cut myself over and over and over and over. Each time I make sure to cut a little deeper. I can't seem to control it. If I could only have friends, and only have someone to take care of me... if I could only just be a part of a loving group of friends... that'd be enough to stop the cutting, but that won't ever happen. All bridges have been burnt, after all. I can't stop cutting because everything hurts, I can't help myself, and no one will help me. All the solutions I've been provided with such as "distract yourself" or "read a book" or "draw" or "write a story" are only temporary solutions and don't help in the long run. When it's all said and done, it just makes me feel even more lonely when I have no one to share them with (my stories are naturally dark because I find beauty in pain and suffering and part of me enjoys heartbreak and sadness, as well as all other emotions [and I like that about myself], because I know that from despair blossoms hope). My question is... how do I fix loneliness when I've already tried everything that I can do? Naturally I enjoy online friendships because my family moves frequently (very frequently) and if I have friends online, I can keep them no matter where we move or how many times we move.
  24. And cutting back in on the anoime discussion, I have a lot of favorites. I will list them, so forewarning... I've watched way too many that I love. The Disastrous Life of Saiki K, Ouran High Host Club, The Lost Song, The Devil is a Part-Timer, SAO, GGO, Little Witch Academia, The Seven Deadly Sins, Attack on Titan, Your Lie in April, Death Note, Hi-Score Girl, Kakegurui (still unsure if I liked this or was weirded out. It's going on the list anyways!), Vampire Knight, Fate Stay Night, Violet Evergarden, Durarara, Back Street Girls, Siruis the Jaeger, Sword Gai, and (what I'm currently watching) Hunter X Hunter. Yes, I do have a problem.
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