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  1. Today
  2. It’s very likely that this person greatly valued the relationship you two had at the time and wanted it to stay the way it was. Avoiding that question was the only way to prevent change. They probably justified their actions by thinking that this was the best way to protect your feelings. By having them choose between talking to you about the topic they intended to avoid for your own well-being and not talking to you anymore, you forced them basically into a lose-lose. You’re both likely panicked, now it’s for differing reasons, but the root cause is the same. You may find that while it seems to you this person doesn’t care for you, they actually care for you more than you think. This is all speculative though, reconciling with this person may be harmful or beneficial, but I think it might be for the best to give this person another chance to be your friend, and if that’s how they want to keep it, so be it. You will ultimately spend more quality time with this person just as friends than you will without them entirely.
  3. Hmm... Loving yourself could simply be appreciation for the gifts you have or it could also be not disliking yourself. I assume that if you appreciate your gifts, whatever they may be, you’ll see yourself in a certain light that might make you think “Hey, it’s pretty cool being me.” In general it’s pretty much a passive thing. Let me know if that makes sense, this isn’t really my field of expertise.
  4. I go to a private school as well, but judging by your description, mine is much smaller in size than yours. Moving on, my school has had a bunch of threats and the neighborhood around my school is ridden with violence and the occasional gunshot that can be heard if you’re in the area towards the evenings. In your case, while I believe the situation is unlikely to occur, if you want to be on the safer side, you should probably check for things such as objects that could be used to barricade the door of the class you’re in or objects to potentially protect yourself with, if it comes to that of course. Again, I don’t believe it’ll happen but it’s better to be prepared, similar to being prepared for a fire or tornado. As for the two tests on that day, I think it’s best to try to compromise with the teachers, and also let them know about the threat if they don’t because that’ll likely help your chances of changing the test date and for their own safety of course. Your main priority for the moment should really be trying to move those tests and stay home on that day, in my opinion. If that doesn’t work out, you should be prepared and have a good understanding that it is ultimately very unlikely for the shooting to happen, based off of my school’s history, and also the fact you have security people who are being payed for a reason. I hope any of this can be of help to you, seeing how this topic is not the easiest to address. We’ll all here for you nevertheless!
  5. One question I have is everyone always tell you to love yourself before loving others but how do I know when I like myself? It’s nothing that drastic, it’s just I’m a rather neutral person altogether. I have a hard time figuring out my feelings for other people so it’s even harder figuring out myself.
  6. So I’m just gonna put a disclaimer first, if you don’t like the idea of threats, then it’s best to skip past this. It start off and give some context, I go to a fairly well-off private school. We have decent security and nothing too violent happens. Last year around the beginning of Christmas break we had gotten an announcement from the school administration that a threat was written in one of the bathroom stalls and that the day before break started the school was going to be heavily monitored by police outside and inside of the campus. I was thrown way off guard so I started asking around to some of my classmates about what was going on. One of them explained to me that someone had written down a shooting threat that was going to happen on the day before break. The school was never specific about situation nor did they cancel school for the day of the threat. The announcement was given to us the DAY BEFORE THE SHOOTING WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE PLACE. On top of that, my ensemble teacher told us we had to come into school that day or we had to complete homework that would be due when we got back to school. I knew I couldn’t have an absence on my record, so I reluctantly went to school that day. Back to the present, and surprise surprise, another threat was written on a bathroom stall. But this year I was better informed by my peers. The threat was written last week and we were just informed about this today. Once again, they tried to downplay the situation nor did they tell us when the shooting is supposed to (it’s supposed to happen this Friday). The administration has not canceled school yet. And I have two exams that day. I’m talking to my parents about not going in that day, but I’m still concerned about missing exams because of my grades. What also concerns me is that the general public does not know about this (and the various other legal scandals the school has gotten itself into) even though this is the second time this has happened. I’m just not completely sure on how to handle the situation this time or if the school is making the best decision for us. And this time, I’m absolutely terrified, I’m not sure but something in the universe is telling me it’s not a joke this time. I just want to hear your opinions and to have some insight on what to do.
  7. With Lani, I think it might be best to address the issue by being upfront with her and telling her that you didn’t mean anything weird with what you said. Clearing up any confusion sooner rather than letting it sit will likely help your relationship. It will take courage though, but the risk will be well worth the reward. Lani may also be the type that takes some time to open up to people so that might be a factor. Also, if you want to talk anime, I got you. I’ll be that one anime friend you have. I’ve been told I’m a bit chaotic too, but we’ll cross that bridge when it comes.
  8. "Oh how I hate the silver line / Never could taste your life / Never my place and time / I am misaligned / Never in the state of mind / Never in phase with mine" Recent events have caused me to fall back to my past self, but the good version of my past self. I've gone back to liking the band that has always held a special place in my heart, and has been with me throughout my life and all my struggles - Starset. For some reason, I try to find a new "favorite music artist," but in reality, no matter how much I run, I always come back to them. Anyways, that aside, I have some updates: First of all - I apparently am bipolar, which I guess makes sense. Secondly - I talked to Iani! Turns out her name was Lani and I misread the "L" as an "I." We talked and talked the entire bus ride. I started with "thank you for the note" and then said "how was your day?" and the conversation stemmed from there. We talked about what we planned on doing after college, where we dream of living, favorite movies, what we were for Halloween, etc., and finally the bus arrived at her stop. She said, "Well, it was nice talking to you. See you tomorrow." I got up so that she could exit the bus and asked, "Do you want me to walk home with you or..?" because I realized that I had forgot to give her my number or address or means of reaching me at all. She anxiously replied, "No, I can't." and left. I hate myself for leaving it on such an awkward note. Ever since then, I've seen her, but she's been avoiding me. I think I messed up, and it bothers me. I guess I got too comfortable, thinking that I could go ahead and do something like that, even though I meant nothing romantic of it. I feel like I can't open up to anyone. Not in real life, and not even online. With how many people reject me, it's pretty much impossible to convince me that I'm "safe and loved" no matter how much anyone shows it. I don't feel like I can be loved, or that anyone truly understands me or my pain. I doubt anything, whether it be a friendship or relationship, will last further than a month if I open up and am honest with myself. I have to hide myself and remain isolated in order for people to not hate me, but if I have to do that to be accepted, then is that even acceptance? I don't know what to do, but I think I've lost my chance with her, and with anyone, because let's face it, more people want to avoid me rather than comfort, love, or confront me. "Fall in and fall away / This love is in retrograde" (The quotes are from "Manifest" by Starset)
  9. I know someone online. They know I like them, they've known for a while. I sent a letter confessing my love, and they act all 'oohh, my emotions are a mess! I'm in love!" Yada yada yada- when I confront them about whether or not they're talking about me, they avoid the topic. 100%."I don't want to answer that." And silence. They know I love them. They know I'd be okay with it if they didn't love me- I've been assuming that this whole time. Yet they avoid answering now? Our relationship is on the line- they could tell me "no" and hurt me, and i'd be fine with it. They could say 'yes' and i'd be happy. They could tell me 'i like you, but it wouldn't work' etc, etc and it would be fine. Instead, they blatantly say 'I don't want to answer that'?!?! With past experience with silence, ambiguity, and manipulative types, all of my trust for them is gone. I'm not chasing someone that can't tell me a simple answer for something that really isn't that big of a deal. I'm not risking that kind of pain, again. I love them, and their intelligence, and kindness, but I just can't trust them. Surely I'm not the only one that finds this extremely suspicious? I don't know what to do, anymore.. I've chosen to cut them from my life, and told them if they value our relationship- platonic or otherwise- they would talk to me, as that's all I had wanted in the first place. There's no gain or loss in communicating. Actively avoiding either answer makes me feel like they are hiding something- like there is something they don't want to admit. Heck, they said it themselves- "I don't want to answer that." If they valued our relationship, they would have talked even a little with me. But they ran instead, as if caught in a lie. I gave them so much, and they can't give me a few words. Not even an explanation. I'm. not. having it.
  10. Yesterday
  11. *During Outage* So my childhood friend is suffering greatly at the degradation and loss of his relationship with his girlfriend. It's been becoming a long trend of them having troubles with hurting each other. He originally was going to bring it up to her on a day he expected, but she canceled it. Then 4 days later, unexpectedly he was put into that position. So currently he's been really down from it. He said it was mutual as they both saw how the relationship was coming apart. But is there any words of comfort or advice that might help him? Or any advice that I can do to help him get through this? He is Christian, so is you have any verses or stuff, that would be good for this person too.
  12. *During Outage* I fell in love, and the girl appeared to too, and we got to know each other, unfortunately its all online and I can't be there for her, shes under a lot of stress, and I wish I could help her. But I accidently did something to cause her more stress And I'm worried about her, I know shes strong but, I dont know how strong she is. I was trying to ask my friends how to be best for her, and I showed them all my dm's She is under a lot of stress she has a lot of responsibilities, from school, work, family, and other things . And she is having hardships with family right now, she's been hurt before by other people. I dont know whats going on in her mind, but I'm worried about her, I honestly only care for her happiness. But lately she's been ignoring me, and I'm trying my best, but all I can do is trust her to not hurt herself
  13. Was just wondering what your guys' suggestions are for finding online friends. I'm not usually one to go out looking for some but lately I've felt like I wanted a close friend or two to chat to sometimes. Ofc irl friends work too, there's just more people online. -Matt
  14. Last week
  15. Thanks Hero! I posted the link to it on the "Can you guess the Detective?" thread and I think there's not much left for me to add... Given how close the end of Criminal Idol S1 is, I've lost a bit of motivation on it but I'm still proud of it ^^
  16. It's Thursday again which means another Indigo Power Hour! Join us! We will be talking more about our Hazbin Hotel AU, Helluva boss, original work and some other things since we're a rambly pair
  17. Please read the following amazing writings by our fellow Community Members and pick your favorite. Hailey Day 11 Legend.docx Hailey Day 11 Snow.docx Harmony Day 12 Dragon .docx Liam Day 1 Rings.docx Liam Day 2 Mindless.docx Liam Day 3 Bait.docx Man Left Behind Day 21 Treasure .docx
  18. Earlier
  19. See the below Images for voting they are in the same order as the poll.
  20. Anna_P_Day_12_Dragon.MOVAnna_P_Day_13_Ash.MOVAnna_P_Day_16_Exploration.MOVAnna_P_Day_22_Ghost.MOV Anna_P_Day_1_Ring.mp3 Anna P Day 2 Mindless.mp3 Anna_P_Day_3_Bait.mp3 Anna_P_Day_4_Freeze.mp3 Anna_P_Day_5_Build.mp3 Anna P Day 6 Husky.mp3 Anna_P_Day_7_Enchanted.mp3 Anna P Day 15 Legend.mp3 Anna_P_Day_18_Misfit.mp3 Anna_P_Day_23_Ancient.mp3 Monkerstar_Day_15_Legend.mp3 Monkerstar_Day_31_Ripe.mp3 Hey Guys you can find all the submissions here.
  21. Sparrow is here I've been having this strange feeling that I need to make some friends but never have the courage to do that. How would i do that? Impatience can be a hassle sometimes. I've been waiting for my mentee program I'm also super bummed about my winter field trip to (keeping my privacy) It got cancelled yesterday because of medical concerns Feel free to ask questions. Sparrow is gone
  22. Hey Guys! Here's the poll. Let us know your favorites!
  23. Hmmm, well, @April, it seems to me that you have a rather serious case of M.M.K or Monkey Mind Syndrome. It's something that I myself am afflicted with, the mind constantly running in circles around the same subject, thinking of all the possibilities, mostly the negative ones, and ways to fix the problem, but at the same time not even knowing what exactly the problem is or if there even really is one at all! Thankfully, I know just the cure. I hereby prescribe to you one daily dose of positive affirmations. I've found that, at least personally, this happens because of a lack of belief in, or love of the self. That's what the affirmation will fix. Each morning, before doing anything else, you should write down on a piece of paper just how amazing you are. Write down how beautiful your hair is, write down what great teeth you have, your wonderful sense of humor, your excellent taste in music, all of the valuable skills you have, the passion you hold when you do something that you love, anything and everything - even if you don't believe them yourself. You could even take it a step further and write about how grateful you are. Grateful that you woke up to see another day, grateful that you have a loving family who cares for you, grateful that you have the luxuries of food on the table and roof over your head, grateful for your health, your creativity, your intelligence, and so on. Both of these will focus the mind on positive thoughts, as well as set a positive undertone for the rest of your day. While this only cures the symptoms, and not the problem itself, it is a great start. You should keep up taking care of yourself, you only get one meat sack to ride in on this big orb of stone, so you'd best take care of it.
  24. This might be a thing of patience, but I'm somewhat clueless and my anxiety has a hold of me. I haven't seen that girl who gave me the note since the day she gave it to me (last Tuesday). It has me confused, and my anxiety isn't helping. Is she avoiding me because she's worried of what I might say? Is she purposefully avoiding me because she regrets her decision? Did she move? Does she normally not take the bus? Is she just sick? How will she react when she sees me again? Where did she go? When will I see her again? Will I even see her again at all? Ironically, as I pointed out in the last post, she drew a little ghost next to her name, so this all feels special and cute and romantic since she's quite literally my ghost, and I'd rather have this than just some normal love story, but it still just has me all confused. I've taken walks around the neighborhood because I really should start working out (and eating more and just being more healthy overall since I'm pretty much a living, breathing stick), but it all feels so lonely. I don't want to rush this whole process, but it'd be nice to at least have her phone number so we could talk more, but I haven't seen her since and my mind just keeps hitting me with all of these negative possibilities. Thanks anxiety. Anyways, I don't really know the real problem or what needs to be solved here, I just want to feel less anxious and lonely.
  25. oh boy, this is a tough one! I have very little experience in "matters of the heart" but it's plane to see that this interaction is uncomfortable to you. Just remember that you are under no obligation to be in an uncomfortable spot and that you don't owe this person anything. Personally I think they are being inappropriate and should not have come on so strong it always puts people on edge.
  26. Apologies in advance if this turns out to be long or complex. I... I'm confused as to who I'm supposed to be. I should start by saying that... I'm a fourteen-year-old girl who's overly aware of her inward identity/mindset, is often run by emotions, needs some learning how to take criticism (or when things are too condemning to be constructive), is prone to harsh and lengthy bouts of overthinking 24/7, and is trying to find out how to simply enjoy life, because she knows that life is too short to hesitate in it forever. I think I just constantly have too many questions. I'm on the search to find out how to balance who I am and how I react to the way other people see me. I used to be a SUPER confident, bold and self-assured person until 8th grade. I always thought I was right no matter what. But... last year happened. Home life got rough when I started finally making choices for myself instead of believing all my parents told me- all children must find their paths eventually. At the same time, I realized with help from others and some introspection that I live with a HIGHLY toxic and manipulative family member. That family member broke my foundation and condemned my beliefs (a lot of them faith-based: I'm a Christian) to the point that... it's by God's grace I'm still here right now. And that's when I did a reality check and I realized... what if I'M the same? I'd been blindly believing all I'd been told and powerfully acting upon it for my whole lifetime, so what if I was taking on that toxicity and forcing my thoughts on others? So I lost myself. I was forced to in my home life, but I also allowed it everywhere else. I gave up so many beliefs about so many things. I became a doormat. I agreed with everyone and everything. And it wasn't like I was lying- I truly didn't know what to think anymore. What if I was wrong? It was wrong of me to assume I was right, because... I lived with a family member who assumed they were right 24/7, and I didn't want to be that person. So I listened to all the voices at once. Some good, some bad. Some voices no one should listen to. Now, I'm better since finding a foundation, and life is easier. I have an identity again. But...the point? I'm still listening to too many voices. I am someone, but I don't know WHO to be. I freak out about every perceived flaw I have. I have been negatively labeled as "oblivious," "socially awkward," "complicated," "ineffective at communicating," "overthinking" and so much more that I'm left wondering I'm disabled or abnormal. And I've changed so much over time that I don't know what parts of me to drop and what to keep. Am I born with a personality? Or is it a choice? Can I be the spontaneous, fun, and relatable person I want to break into, or should I stay complex, overly analytical, and a deep thinker trapped in my mind? I wonder if they hinder me. Should I talk or stay quiet all the time? How should I react to my experiences? Why do I act and think differently when I'm alone in comparison to when I speak to people? What version of me will give me the life and personality that would benefit me the most? I LOVE people, and I want to be able to understand them, get to know them, and be liked... but it doesn't seem to work, and I can find so many problems within me to define why that is. I also don't do so many things because I have an underlying fear of insulting someone or overstepping boundaries. I spend so much time living in fear or retrospect that the present is never there. This all just scratches the surface of my racing thoughts that never stop. So please... what do I do from here on in?
  27. Sparrow is here its really hard for me to know my emotions. this is getting hard to write so bear with me Emotions for me is like, a cookie jar on top of the fridge that you cant reach when you were little I dont know what to do So I guess the point im trying to ask is , How do I know emotions? -Sparrow is Gone-
  28. Today, I discovered I was messaged something on the website. When I checked it, it was from someone who I had seen their name before, but we had never really talked. By the time I finished I was really shocked. They were like, Hey, I wanted to tell you something. I think that we are meant to be together, to cut straight to the point. They then talked about their belief in Tarot cards and how they had been sent signs being told that they would find their soulmate soon and that they suspected that I was that soulmate. They then went on to talk about what they wanted in a relationship, which was finding someone whom they could trust and talk to without fear of abandonment or judgement, and they wanted to start a family together. They continued saying they saw these qualities in me and while they recognized that this "might be" scary, or intimidating, but they couldn't wait any longer. "I'm tired of being alone, of being stuck. I'm ready for my love to move forward, hopefully with you in it." Since I had not seen it yet, I had not responded and they sent two more messages. One was asking for my thoughts and the other was responding more impatiently saying "Just in case you're curious, yes I do still love you and no I haven't moved on. The wait here is killing me, so could you please give me an answer?" alongside a YouTube video with a love song. I know that for me I don't want to have that type of relationship and I only just saw this today. But I have no idea how to respond properly. Please help me, I know my answer will probably hurt them, but I want to do it in a loving way instead of my initial reaction which was "Huh? Who are you?" Sincerely, Anonymous
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