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Originally this post was titled "Inspiration," but that was because I didn't quite know exactly how to put my thoughts into words at the time. Now, however, I think I know.

I've made lots of promises. I made a promise to my Early Childhood Education teacher that I would make her a song. Years later, I still haven't made it. I told my other Early Childhood Education teacher that I would become a teacher myself... but now I don't want to. I claimed that I would create a YouTube channel documenting my time in Japan, and that I would live in Japan... but now I also kind of don't want to. I'd like to visit Japan, yes. But I think I'd like to live in New York or Atlanta, like how I once did, and be a music artist instead of doing YouTube. It's quite the burden, though, making all of these plastic promises that I end up abandoning. I feel bad for not wanting to do all that I said, and for constantly changing my mind on these sorts of things. At this point, whenever I tell my family what I want to do with my life, it's as if they don't really have faith that I want to and know that I'll change my mind, having done it so many times. What can I do to fix this guilt I feel, and to stick to the path I claim to want to go on?

Edited by Aura
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Update related to the whole music artist thing:

I finally, after an eternity, came up with a band/artist name that clicks in my mind and went ahead and created all the socials and stuff for it. I've decided the name will be "Twenty Second Countdown" and it will be using my own vocals! (Whether I like it or not)

There will be a YouTube channel for it and content once I finish making the debut EP or album.

Here's the SoundCloud page in case anyone's interested and wishes to keep in touch and updated:

 

Edited by whatsupwityomamadat
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Update: I've recently found that creating a dream helps. My dream is to become big like Red, Starset, etc. and to give people the same kind of home and sense of belonging that I was given from those bands and communities.

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Lemme offer my 2¢. There are a lot, and I mean a LOT of promises we make to others that might never be fully realized. Heck, there might even be promises to yourself that you can’t keep. One of the double-edged swords about the human experience is our ability to change. And with change comes a different mindset, one that might not be able to keep a former promise. And you have to be willing to forgive yourself (or apologize to others) for not keeping that promise. Sometimes people will accept it. Some people won’t. And that’s also okay.

Edited by WanderingSoul
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