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Joe Anderson【CDVNL】

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Joe Anderson【CDVNL】 last won the day on February 21

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About Joe Anderson【CDVNL】

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  • Birthday February 22

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  1. Why do hot dogs come in packages of 8 and buns come in 6? I don't know how to cope with that.
  2. Hey so I am unable to get onto bss.studio because my computer isn't working right now. So here is my question/vent thing. I had a mental breakdown/panic attack 4 days ago. I texted my mom to come downstairs to my room and comfort me. I had written out how I felt on the paper and gave it to her after hugging her and breaking down crying. Once I calmed down a bit my youngest brother came into my room and hugged me and told me "It's okay Kendra your little brother is here. You're the best big sister ever! Everything is going to be okay." As he was saying this he is trying not to cry as well. My mom the had him go to be and then my mom recommended we gather the rest of the family in my room to talk. When they all gathered in my room I finally told them everything I was feeling, how I felt like I wasn't being listened to, how I felt that my dad would down play what I say and make me feel useless. My dad didn't understand and got frustrated saying I shouldn't have to feel that way because I am loved. That made me start to hyperventilate when I tried explaining that it wasn't something I could control. My mom stepped in and explained the best she could for me. My mom told me after everyone left that my dad is one that has to be able to fix things right away and do everything himself. And he can't fix depression and anxiety. After all that my mom told me that I will have to get into a Doctor and get a check up and tell them what has been going on with me, so that I can get some profession help. After talking to everyone they now stop and listen to me a bit, I brought up how they all are able to talk to many people and friends nearby about what they like. But I don't have friends that are near me like they do. SO all the things I like to talk about like anime and what not is hard. I also listen back and I am trying not to take things to personally. It's hard because the tone of someone's voice can set off my anxiety and then I feel like I did something wrong or makes me feel like I am not good enough. It's hard but I am trying.
  3. So many people seem to be able to get ahead much faster than you. They seem to learn faster. They seem to get and use experience faster and better.
  4. These are GREAT ideas!! I wanna get @Ryan Seewald 【Static-P】, @Jesse V. @Princess_Yellow, and @J.Curtis in on this conversation too... But I absolutely love where you're heading with this! I think you're right, that it would help people find the topics they're looking for. We used to divide them up and release a new video for each topic, but we simply didn't have time to do those edits anymore. This would be a wonderful and simple way to address the issue. You're amazing!!!
  5. I’ve said this a couple times during the streams but I have a hard time talking to people. When I’m talking to people I’ll tell them something and then think to myself “I could have rephrased that better.” Then I excuse myself and rephrase my words. Sometimes I’ll say something during a conversation then late and night I’ll think to myself “I could have said it a different way” or lI shouldn’t have said that at all.” I’m always worried about how people interpret my words, I don’t mean to offend or upset anyone so I try to pick my words carefully still I always have a hard time expressing what I want to say. I’m getting better at talking, actually the whole reason I started to communicate with chat was me accidentally typing something then me being me just not watching to ditch and make things awkward I stayed, now I tune in every Wednesday and talk with you guys. It’s relieving to talk about my dumb worries and I’ve been gaining a bit of confidence in what I say and coming to the conclusion “Welp, if I mess up I can just apologize, nothing to worry about.” But talking with you all really helps me, thank you for listening.
  6. Version 1.0.0


    Grow, a single by A Single Duel


  7. Have you ever thought about your thoughts? I know, that's a weird question... "What are you thinking about?" "Oh, I'm just thinking about what I've been thinking." At first glance it appears to dodge the question, but when you look deeper, it can be quite profound. What I'm talking about here are those times when you step outside yourself for a moment, and examine the kinds of thoughts you have going through your head. Are you thinking things that are uplifting and forward looking? Are you thinking thoughts that defeat you before you even get started? I'm sure we've all experienced both... Those times when we feel invincible, on top of the world and nothing could ever bring us down. Then, like 5 minutes later, we're down in the dumps in a pit of despair. I know I certainly have experienced that. This is when It can be good to stop and take a look at your thoughts. Because, truly, we all get to choose the thoughts we think. It's one thing that separates us from other animals - the ability to rationalize. It's been said that with our thoughts, we can make a hell out of heaven, or a heaven out of hell... Meaning that the perspective we assume will make all the difference in our attitude toward a situation. Did you just succeed at something? Well, just zero in on some detail of why it isn't perfect, and you can be sure to feel bad about it. Have you hit rock bottom? Great!! Now there's no other direction but up! I've heard (and experienced) that rock bottom is the perfect place to get started again. Tuck this little nugget in the back of your mind somewhere... and when life seems to be a challenge, you can flip a switch instantly by changing your thoughts. It may just make all the difference in the world...
  8. Today, as I'm reflecting on all the wonderful things happening here at BSS, I can't help but be a bit overwhelmed... There seems to be an unending list of things to be done, and sometimes it's difficult to choose which one is the best to do next. Sorting and prioritizing are not always my strongest attributes, but I know I can be grateful for the fact that I'm certainly not going to be bored anytime soon! So, how do you get yourself centered and focused on what needs to be done next? As I've said before on Don't Worry Wednesday, one thing that always clears my mental fog is physical exercise. I had a theory a while ago, that if I back off on my workout regimen, I would have more time to accomplish the things on my to do list, and thereby get more done in less time. Interestingly, I found the opposite to be true! As my physical activity went down, so did my energy levels... As my energy levels went down, so did my productivity... As my productivity went down, well, obviously less was getting done. Another aspect that I noticed was my level of confidence. It also began to wane as my physical activity decreased. But then, IMMEDIATELY after my first workout, my mood was better, my confidence skyrocketed, and I was able to blast through my to do list with a vigor that I had not felt in a long time! AND, even the tedious tasks were FUN!! This was such an important discovery for me, that I knew I HAD to share it with you all. The lesson: Don't skimp out on physical activity. Get up and do something! Even if it's just some stretching or walking around the room. (*Disclaimer: Talk to a doctor before starting any exercise regimen, especially if you haven't exercised in a long time.*) You will be amazed at the results you feel -- Happiness, confidence, contentment, just to name a few. Comment below and share your experiences! Love you all!!!
  9. Hey @Felrein002, Many times, I've had my path change to something I didn't really want to do... While I generally would resist it in my mind at the time it happened, I found out later how valuable the experience was. There is much you will be able to learn on your upcoming journey - skills, training, new people to meet, and maybe you will come face to face with yourself and have some truly defining moments. You may find out that you are capable of so much more than you imagined! Here's to you, @Felrein002... You're in our thoughts and prayers!
  10. Yeah, I know how you feel, @Kiran... Sometimes even those of us on staff don't really know what to do either...
  11. Great work @Mordleif!!! Very catchy and easy to fall in love with - I really enjoy your unique chord progressions around the same hook.. Plus, your voice is outstanding! I definitely look forward to hearing more! Thanks so much for sharing!!!
  12. Hey, Saigo here again, last email went well, I've mostly dropped any ideas of going back to a path long closed off to me (That is, assuming it was ever open in the first place), I still get lonely from time to time but I've had almost 19 years to learn to handle my <redacted swear word> so I'll manage. Small note, I have a tendency to get in details when it comes to reasons, but after passing over the email again I realize they take too much space on the text, so I'll just use <reasons> instead, there are other emails to read too But a few days ago I had a few friends over, every once in a while they come over for the night and we cook some food, play games and I listen to their stories from over the last few days, among the talk one of them mentioned a little thing we said a long time ago: that we would eventually leave Brazil to live in the US, it slowly started to hit on me that I have lost most if not all my fighting spirit and ambitions are near non-existent, that is, if it ever existed instead of being just big talk. My "plan" for the future right now is getting done with an English course so I have something decent to put on a resume (Self-taught is irrelevant on a resume due to <reasons>, already on it and will be done at june next year, saving time is a perk of knowing the subject well), get a small job and with my own money figure a college out since I don't like having my parents paying for everything (especially since we're not exactly well-off and them being divorced makes things a bit awkward/complicated at times, not to mention college is expensive and yet I'd like to get through without a sea of loans behind me). Although this "plan" is pretty grounded to me at least, a few problems have started to show ever since that talk. First of all, it is somewhat vague, I do not know where I should apply for a job/which job I should apply to,I do not know what college to seek further ahead since I have no clue what I want to do (Y'a know, Teen/Young Adult stuff, shout out to everyone in this pitfall too), I've heard some people mention teaching English since I seem to be good at it, but for reasons that add three lines to an already long Wall-of-Text it's mostly out of question And second of all and the reason for the title, it started to sound way too tame, thinking about it now, it's far from a stretch to imagine that, in some timeline, I end up embracing working at a dead-end job just living paycheck to paycheck like basically everyone else from my family, that even became an acceptable idea to me at some point and I only now realize what that would mean: being a part of the mundane, average and common lifestyle I see all around and that at least part of me despises, I don't want to be a part of the crowd that dumps bags of garbage into a river like it's normal and not a big deal (This is just a snippet of how things roll around here, there are many more examples of behavior I've come to hate where I live but this text is already long as it is)(It's also not like this worry is invalid, I've had to remind myself to watch what I'm doing a few times already since I'm basically fighting against my culture while trying to not draw attention, not an easy task) The issue is, I've had 19 years to figure myself out, and I've figured that one of the things that makes me emotionally stable is knowing that when I go to sleep, I'll wake up the next morning and life will move on. And of course that happens to the beneficial things too because Monkey's Paw "I was bored to live inside the box, hard and closed; And then I saw a piece of picture; Something inside me crushed and a siren blared out like a thunder; 'Wake up!!'; Uh…But I had to go get some bread; You know, it was the ration time; The echo on the wall decayed; And was gone; The sound escaped my memory." (FUZI x Neru - 0verf1ow) (Christ, this text is long, that is the end of the worry part so you can cut it off in here to save time if you'd like, the rest is a bit of an overview on the positives I had the last few years, the light of hope if you will) But on a more positive note, it's not like I'm on a downward spiral or stuck at point zero with absolutely no evolution, back in 2013 I would not take care of me at all, over the next few years I started working on myself, 2017 was definitely the highlight of high-school (And the end of it too) and out of it, being the culmination of the small evolutions I had until then into a far more solid and stable me, it was also the year I had the most romance, it was entirely one-sided but that's still a win in my book, can't help it, I like the stuff. 2018 was kind of a break, not much happened early and later the things that did happen were mostly irrelevant. And this year? Well, unfortunately it's a secret of mine, but let's just say I gave myself something I've been needing for a while, it's just a replica I created and not at all a substitute since it's missing some things I can't (And shouldn't) give it, but it will give me moral support until I'm ready for the real thing. And this should be It, I'm having some trouble clicking the "send" button because maybe there something else to add or maybe something to trim, proofreading maybe-Ya know what, I'll just click it, ONE!
  13. Oh my, Kaela... your voice sends the shivers up my spine! Beautiful, beautiful work!!
  14. I seriously wish I could hit the like button more than once... I think I'll start a support ticket about that, cause this artwork is AMAZING!
  15. Hey thanks @Monkerstar!! I have a new song that is just about to release... We've just been focused on the Kickstarter campaign for Criminal Idol, so I haven't been able to wrap it up quite yet. Rest assured that it is coming soon! Thank you so much for the kind words!
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