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Yume last won the day on April 30 2020

Yume had the most liked content!

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About Yume

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    Level 4
  • Birthday 04/21/2002

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  1. (A lot of this post was solved, so it’s been edited a ton lol) As of April 21st, I am 19. As of writing this post, it is now April 22nd. In other words... I am now 19! I spent so long trying to find what I want to do with my life since I gave up on music. The reason I gave up was because, as I mentioned in previous posts, I couldn’t make anything I liked anymore. It was like any talent I had just vanished. I tried so desperately to just force making something. Recently though, a new album was released by my favorite artist, and I watched an interview where he talked in
  2. (This will probably be my final topic. I need to move on. I love you all, But I need to let go.) I finally found somewhere that felt like home. It was a place I felt I belonged. I've never felt that way about a place since - if we're being honest - Static's server. I don't know what it is about this place that made me feel that way. Maybe it was the way they treated me. They were all so nice. They were there for me when I was hurt. I even fell in love. But I got distracted by the past. I wanted so badly to go back. I would've done anything. But there was
  3. I've always wanted to be comforting. I've always wanted to be loving. I've always wanted to be mature. People like the ones in this community are comforting, And I've found plenty of comfort in Ryan and Joe. I wish to be a source of comfort for others, Just like how this community gives me comfort. I've done a lot of things I regret in my past. I've hurt people out of fear of being hurt, As well as other reasons. I have difficulty loving myself and forgiving myself for those things. It's hard to do so, Especially when I know that there are probably people who haven't
  4. Yume


    A little low-effort thing I made... I say "low-effort" because the drums are the same throughout the song (as well as the bass, which I set way too loud lol) I like how the first 40-ish seconds turned out though! ^^ It's titled "reflect" because I feel like cinematic/orchestral sounds (like the ones at the end) are some of the most emotional and deep sounds. Coming up with a title for this was hard lol
  5. (I am now happily a Gold Member ) (And will definitely upgrade eventually) I used to have a creative process. I didn't know what it was, but it existed. I would create and create and it all felt right. I knew it wasn't perfect, but it was at least okay. Overtime, though, I lost form. I lost that creative process, and thus, I don't like anything I make anymore. It feels like any talent I might've had just vanished. I don't know when or how, but it's gone. Every once and a while I'll make something that's mediocre, But I no longer have moments where I'll actually thorou
  6. (Bit of a long one, sorry. I can't think of a way to shorten it down.) I am but a soul, searching for a home. Every place I've been has once felt like home. But those places are always taken from me. The first time, it was my parents' inability to understand me. Or rather, their refusal to do so. The second time, it was the toxic behaviors I had inhabited from a toxic household. The third time, it was my anxiety that made me overly obsessive, but also afraid of being vulnerable. The fourth time, it was my fear of having more people hate me. I'd rather separate
  7. (I'm sorry for the heavy topic, it started out lighter but my mind... I can't control it and it hurts) The other day I stared at the puddles left behind from storms. The reflections remained still and deep, almost enough for me to reach through to the other side. Though it was no different from this reality, it somehow felt more beautiful. I so desperately wanted to live in the reflection, but couldn't. Then I realized a difference; I had perceived the reflection to be beautiful. I had not perceived reality to contain its same beauty. My mind creates these stories and poe
  8. This topic is solved. Although, if it insisted that this topic be done, then know that it was about being untalented, receiving hate for it, and learning how to be appreciative of what you are.
  9. Things have been nothing short of amazing. I've recently made the decision to dive headfirst into nostalgia instead of shying away from anything related to the past. I haven't felt this amazing in years... since New York, even. All of the music stuff I ordered finally came in and I'm so excited and inspired! I'm still an admin on the server I mentioned last post. It's been fun and I really do feel like I belong. I've always wanted a position of power and leadership, having never had either my entire life. I'm the best I've ever been, and honestly it feels like I was made for t
  10. I've recently regained my faith. I've had a lot of dreams about "the end." I also had a dream about me making music after once again wondering what I wanted to do. Then I had another dream about me wanting to pursue animation over music. Today, I even saw an ad for film-making that put it in a way which made it seem like it was meant to be. But then I also have fallen in love with synthwave/retrowave/synthpop music and bought a lot of (expensive and somewhat unnecessary but awesome) music equipment. That being said, yes, I changed my mind again. Instead of being a singer, however, I
  11. Sometimes I like to take an outside look at my life, observing the chaos that surrounds it. I've recently been thinking about happy endings, and when I'll get mine. Some people find where they belong while others remain searching. Some find it, and some never will. I need to pursue something that can allow me to be honest, like this. I need a place that I can retreat to; a place where I can stop thinking and worrying about the chaos. A place where I can process life. I only had music and science in mind, but last night I had quite the dream. Do dreams have meaning? I don't know, but I thi
  12. Another update? Having graduated from high school, I've been debating what to pursue again. The choice was between music and science. I want to choose one that I can make a difference in. I guess that my right ear got so tired of me trying to make up my mind, that it made a decision for me, so now I can't hear out of my right ear. If I'm unable to get my hearing back in that ear, then science will be what I pursue. That's completely fine with me, as I feel the world needs another Einstein. I think the hardest part of becoming such an influential and largely-known figure is just the application
  13. First of all, I know the first though some might immediately have is "but nobody deserves anything," but stick with me for a moment. I've been debating leaving BSS and everything surrounding it. I changed my mind to wanting to go back to making music again, and my constant shifting of interests makes me feel like a nuisance. Also, while I love everyone in the community, it's very painful. It's come to the point where I feel like everything I'm doing is because "I made mistakes, so I must repair the relationships I broke as a result." But I'm done with this mentality of thinking that I owe
  14. UPDATES: So, I've decided to pursue animation so that I can accurately tell the stories I want to tell. My stories are very visual, as I'm a very visual person, especially when it comes to creativity. The whole reason I loved music was because, every time I listen to music, stories and visuals appear in my head (without my control). For those reasons, I have decided to pursue 2D animation. I made a goal of drawing at least once a month so I can improve my drawing skills. Plus, 2D animation was my favorite class I've ever had in school, or in life as a whole. However, worry not, I'm still going
  15. Okay, before this post begins, I want to clear up some things. 1. My dream of being an angel is no longer existent and I don't know how I feel about faith or religion at the moment, and it's too stressful for me to want to try and think about or figure out for now. I just want to be me without censoring or feeling as though I'm shutting out a part of who I am. 2. The thing I said during a previous stream about my dream leaning more towards "chasing nostalgia" was completely false. Sure, that's motivation for my dream of wanting to live in Japan, but it's not necessarily the dream, ra
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