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Yume

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Yume last won the day on April 30

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About Yume

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  • Birthday 04/21/2002

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  1. There was once something here. It was hope. Then I wished it away for something better. I didn't know that I already had everything I needed. And when I lost it, I lost my way. I lost myself. I've been searching for a while now, But it doesn't matter how far you search. It doesn't matter how different you try to be, Or how far you try to go, When the thing you were searching for was where you started. I wish I could know when it all began to fade. When was the exact moment when I would only start losing? And, if there was anything I could do to reverse it, what
  2. (Bit of a long one, sorry. I can't think of a way to shorten it down.) I am but a soul, searching for a home. Every place I've been has once felt like home. But those places are always taken from me. The first time, it was my parents' inability to understand me. Or rather, their refusal to do so. The second time, it was the toxic behaviors I had inhabited from a toxic household. The third time, it was my anxiety that made me overly obsessive, but also afraid of being vulnerable. The fourth time, it was my fear of having more people hate me. I'd rather separate
  3. (I'm sorry for the heavy topic, it started out lighter but my mind... I can't control it and it hurts) The other day I stared at the puddles left behind from storms. The reflections remained still and deep, almost enough for me to reach through to the other side. Though it was no different from this reality, it somehow felt more beautiful. I so desperately wanted to live in the reflection, but couldn't. Then I realized a difference; I had perceived the reflection to be beautiful. I had not perceived reality to contain its same beauty. My mind creates these stories and poe
  4. This topic is solved. Although, if it insisted that this topic be done, then know that it was about being untalented, receiving hate for it, and learning how to be appreciative of what you are.
  5. Things have been nothing short of amazing. I've recently made the decision to dive headfirst into nostalgia instead of shying away from anything related to the past. I haven't felt this amazing in years... since New York, even. All of the music stuff I ordered finally came in and I'm so excited and inspired! I'm still an admin on the server I mentioned last post. It's been fun and I really do feel like I belong. I've always wanted a position of power and leadership, having never had either my entire life. I'm the best I've ever been, and honestly it feels like I was made for t
  6. I've recently regained my faith. I've had a lot of dreams about "the end." I also had a dream about me making music after once again wondering what I wanted to do. Then I had another dream about me wanting to pursue animation over music. Today, I even saw an ad for film-making that put it in a way which made it seem like it was meant to be. But then I also have fallen in love with synthwave/retrowave/synthpop music and bought a lot of (expensive and somewhat unnecessary but awesome) music equipment. That being said, yes, I changed my mind again. Instead of being a singer, however, I
  7. Sometimes I like to take an outside look at my life, observing the chaos that surrounds it. I've recently been thinking about happy endings, and when I'll get mine. Some people find where they belong while others remain searching. Some find it, and some never will. I need to pursue something that can allow me to be honest, like this. I need a place that I can retreat to; a place where I can stop thinking and worrying about the chaos. A place where I can process life. I only had music and science in mind, but last night I had quite the dream. Do dreams have meaning? I don't know, but I thi
  8. Another update? Having graduated from high school, I've been debating what to pursue again. The choice was between music and science. I want to choose one that I can make a difference in. I guess that my right ear got so tired of me trying to make up my mind, that it made a decision for me, so now I can't hear out of my right ear. If I'm unable to get my hearing back in that ear, then science will be what I pursue. That's completely fine with me, as I feel the world needs another Einstein. I think the hardest part of becoming such an influential and largely-known figure is just the application
  9. First of all, I know the first though some might immediately have is "but nobody deserves anything," but stick with me for a moment. I've been debating leaving BSS and everything surrounding it. I changed my mind to wanting to go back to making music again, and my constant shifting of interests makes me feel like a nuisance. Also, while I love everyone in the community, it's very painful. It's come to the point where I feel like everything I'm doing is because "I made mistakes, so I must repair the relationships I broke as a result." But I'm done with this mentality of thinking that I owe
  10. UPDATES: So, I've decided to pursue animation so that I can accurately tell the stories I want to tell. My stories are very visual, as I'm a very visual person, especially when it comes to creativity. The whole reason I loved music was because, every time I listen to music, stories and visuals appear in my head (without my control). For those reasons, I have decided to pursue 2D animation. I made a goal of drawing at least once a month so I can improve my drawing skills. Plus, 2D animation was my favorite class I've ever had in school, or in life as a whole. However, worry not, I'm still going
  11. Okay, before this post begins, I want to clear up some things. 1. My dream of being an angel is no longer existent and I don't know how I feel about faith or religion at the moment, and it's too stressful for me to want to try and think about or figure out for now. I just want to be me without censoring or feeling as though I'm shutting out a part of who I am. 2. The thing I said during a previous stream about my dream leaning more towards "chasing nostalgia" was completely false. Sure, that's motivation for my dream of wanting to live in Japan, but it's not necessarily the dream, ra
  12. This whole issue began seven years ago, possibly even when I was born. My life is full of so many changes constantly, and not small changes either. My birth wasn't planned, and my birth parents weren't in love for true love, and got divorced when I was only three. My step dad was in the army, as I've mentioned before, causing us to move constantly. The longest I've lived anywhere is in New York, which was for four years. I made many friends there, as I've mentioned before. We eventually moved, and I made more friends and lost more friends that I had ever made. My step dad's abusive and manipul
  13. P.S. I share a birthday with Chris Broad (from Abroad in Japan) Hooray for April 21st!
  14. I've tried YouTube, I've tried game development, I've tried music, I've tried science and astronomy, I've tried astrophotography, I've tried voice acting, I've tried drawing, I've tried engineering, I've tried graphic design, and just about every other art and science there is. That being said, I think I've tried enough of each to have a good idea of what I want to do. Upon taking the inspiration advice, I have decided that doing YouTube will be what I do. Music is fun, but I've found that it's more fun listening to rather than making (in my case). Having taken one film class in middle school,
  15. (SOLVED) My dream of being an angel still lives... kind of. It's as if I want it so badly, but I know I'm falling away from it. I want to be like Princess, Static, and Joe, and be of light, but I'm finding that hard to maintain in the face of temptation. How do I resist temptation and keep my light in the heart of darkness? Also, how can I forgive myself for messing up countless times on trying to achieve this dream of mine?
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