@whatsupwityomamadat I'm not entirely sure that you had a question necessarily and while I hope that Joe and Ryan can give you a bit of guidance. I hope that you can read through your Bible and consider what it actually is that your concern is. If you were to take your entire statement that you have above and condense it down into a singular thought, what would that thought be? I ask this because it can be very helpful in taking the concerns that you have and answering them at least partially on your own.
Before I begin, please note that I care greatly about your frustrations and difficulties as I have face a similar turmoil myself. Not just in this realm, but in others. When I had my question the other day where I asked about how to deal with having your decisions affect many other people. I spent the background of the post thinking over it and condensing it down to the main concern, which in turn allowed me a bit of time to confront my problem on my own to some extent which was very helpful.
One of the things that I would try to be careful of is looking down on people who are looking down on other people. A problem with moral relativism is that we take for granted certain principles in order to make it work. In your instance it might be homosexuality, but historically it has been other things. CS Lewis makes the case that before you confront these issues you must define where you and the other person are coming from. In Mere Christianity, he makes the case that we no longer burn witches and that people have made the argument that we are more moral now than before because of it. However, we must make the determination that truthfully, humanity has not significantly changed in the moral sphere, but in the knowledge sphere. Our decision to no longer burn witches is not predicated upon the fact that we don't kill people who cast spells on people to murder them, destroy their crops, and cause disease. It is predicated upon the fact that we don't believe that witches are actually capable of doing those things. I still highly recommend that you read the book as it gives some insight into some of the things that you are discussing.
Here is the actual quote:
“Three hundred years ago people in England were putting witches to death. Was that what you call the 'Rule of Human Nature or Right Conduct?’ But surely the reason we do not execute witches is that we do not believe there are such things. If we did—if we really thought that there were people going about who had sold themselves to the devil and received supernatural powers from him in return and were using these powers to kill their neighbours or drive them mad or bring bad weather—surely we would all agree that if anyone deserved the death penalty, then these filthy quislings did? There is no difference of moral principle here: the difference is simply about matter of fact. It may be a great advance in knowledge not to believe in witches: there is no moral advance in not executing them when you do not think they are there. You would not call a man humane for ceasing to set mousetraps if he did so because he believed there were no mice in the house.”
From here I wanted to discuss what you state about LGBTQ persons. I do want to point out that at no point should anyone be violent or attack to people who are different than them. And forcing belief systems on others is something that I think we want to rally against, especially in the Christian faith where Jesus would confront sinners, but did not try to make them believe. I think this exemplifies the rest of the Bible, in that the Bible often refers to God's wrath as simply leaving people in their sin. That sin is in and of itself its own punishment.
We do need to denote the fact that there is a difference between sexual preference and race. While their are people who face similar trials to those people who were mistreated due to their race. In the end sexuality inherently involves choice. If sexuality doesn't involve choice that is generally illegal and for good reason. Are there a number of psychological and biological issues at play? Certainly. But that doesn't prevent it from being a choice.
This brings us to your actual consideration of faith and sin. It is important to note you have indicated that you feel people have become overly religious and believe that their word is the word of God, which can be a very dangerous thing. However, if you believe the Bible is the word of God, then what happens when they quote it? Are God's words not his own? Can he not speak through his creations? These are things to consider as you wrestle with these ideas. Since, there may be sometimes in which you are actually having difficulty with God's word, but are projecting your problem with it on your parents. (I do not know if this is the case, but I want you to consider that some of your disagreements may actually lie with God.)
To your last point about Baptists vs Catholics. It would be important that I put myself more in the first category so that proper response can be had. Primarily Protestants (Baptists or otherwise) have had issues with the Catholic Church due to its focus on rules. Thus it brings into play the idea that you have to live up to a certain level to achieve salvation. Which I think we find to be untrue. The thief on the cross being one such example. (Ironic considering your plight above is that you have your parents making the same kind of remarks about others not living to a certain standard.)
This is my understanding, it is not truth, nor is it perfectly created. It is simply from what I am able to grasp about the things that I am aware. I am sure that Hailey, Joe, and Ryan could give you a number of more nuanced perspectives with details that they are more privy to. I am glad that you reach outward to find additional understanding and hope that these words help to put a different perspective on the ideas that you are faced with. Feel free to ask questions, disagree, or anything else that helps you to understand. Understanding is truly somethings that will help to bring us together.
One of the Real Ones.