Princess_Yellow

I personally have a very poor understanding of Catholicism as a Christian. Basically people say that you worship Mary. And also could you explain counting beads?

I know I'm not very active on here, but I need some help, and I have nowhere else to turn to. I'm in love with my best friend, and I don't know what to do anymore. She's in a happy relationship already, and has been for more than 3 years, and I respect that. I would never do anything that could even possibly mess with that. But this is killing me. I don't want to feel this way, I never did. She's always been my best friend, nothing more, and that was fine. But for almost 3 months now, I've had stronger feelings for her, and it just keeps getting worse. I want this to stop. I want things to go back to how they were. She's happy with her boyfriend, and I'm truly glad that she's happy, I just wish it didn't hurt me so badly. Is there anything I can do to make this go away, so I can get back to living my life? This past week, its just been consuming me. Its on my mind almost all the time, and seriously weighing me down. I don't want to be jealous, upset, or mad anymore, because I shouldn't be. The two of them really are great together, and I love seeing how happy they are, but I'm tired of all the negativity surrounding it now. She's my closest friend, and the only person in the world I truly trust. But I can't talk to her about this, for obvious reasons. I can't let this force me to drift apart from her. Sorry for the repetitive sentences and wall of text, its hard to get my thoughts straight. What can I do?

I'm worried I won't be able to get into the University i want because my grades are awful. T-T I want to study computer science/artificial intelligence. I shall try to figure out a study method but I don't know if I can stick to it. I enjoy song writing in my free time so maybe I can fuse them like your did! It seems i can't focus my attention on what I need to I've looked into ADHD and stuff like that but jury's still out. I've been trying to but so far I'm only diagnosed with being 17. I've been told my head is a melting point at this stage so I gotta wait until I'm an adult.

It's been almost a year since I asked you guys about help developing self-control, and your advice helped me make leaps and bounds from my previous state of mind. I've improved a lot, but one thing is causing a lot of issues for me right now: Obsession. A concept or urge can pop into my head and black out everything else, to the point where I'm barely aware of my surroundings and fully focused on addressing the concept or fulfilling the urge. This can disrupt and conversation and turn it into ignoring the other person and talking at them instead of with them, and it can disrupt my work, positive habits, and even sleep. Sometimes it feels helpful, since when I become obsessed with an important task or project it can help ensure I get it done. But often that comes at the cost of routines and habits I've been trying to form. And I will lose all motivation for the task when I'm forced away from it by circumstances, interruptions, or the need for sleep. How can I move from these random and temporary obsessions into a consistent, productive mindset?

My Grandma has decided that she is going to visit her daughter Jaime for a month in Arizona by flying there. I don't think I need to tell you how bad of an idea this is... She's leaving this coming week and I've was told that when I see her next I should make sure I say my goodbyes just in case. And I have already done so, as best as one really can. My parents had a long discussion of how if she gets sick, she's not gonna survive and she's not likely to get treatment either. Since Arizona already don't have space for those who are sick in their hospitals. It's not quite real yet that this possibility exists, and it's possible that she'll go and be okay. But... this would be the first person that is family I have met to pass away if she does. I am doing my best not to worry about it since it isn't going to help me. Yet the conversation that my parents had rings in my head. Especially that my dad wants to drive grandma to the airport, because that might be the last time he sees her. Any advice in the face of something like this? Much Love, Princess

Okay, so this isn't so much help for me as it is my little sister. For a while now my mom sort of puts my sister on the back burner and completely ignores her whenever she doesn't feel like dealing with her. She will even scold my sister for coming outside to talk to her when she is playing on her phone even though my sister more often than not wants to get my mom's attention to show her something that she has been working on that she is really proud of. This is made worse by the fact that my sister has really bad separation anxiety and will either shut off completely or get extremely angry when this happens. Her separation anxiety is REALLY bad. Like she will come into my room crying when my mom leaves to go do whatever. I've been trying to be around her more but I work 5 days a week and am just not home very much at all. And even on my days off my sister is sometimes at her dad's. Plus I'm her brother, I can't replace the motherly love that she wants and I don't want to watch my sister become an extremely introverted person who is afraid to talk and deals with everything on their own. I just don't really know what to do to help her which is why I'm here. She is 5 years old by the way

There are things they can talk about specifically for you if you still want. But totally up to you.

Do you still want this talked about? Or do you feel that it is solved?

The last time I was here I spoke about my relationship with a girl named Rebecca, and how I had decided to go on a break with her to make sure she could learn to love herself well... Over time it was working at the beginning but things went south rather quickly and her mindset became worse and worse. Her self love that she had began practicing had turned into extreme self hatred and me being me I decided i had to try and help her again. It started wearing me down to the point where it became impossible for me to go on so I decided to permanently end the relationship as I couldn’t be with someone who doesn’t love themselves. It’s been 2 weeks since then and I haven’t felt the same since, my motivation to do everything feels gone, I barely pull myself out of bed in the morning and I haven’t been eating well either... Is this just a thing that happens with breakups or is it something to do with me? Do you have any advice for me so that I can go back to being the happy me that feels gone so suddenly? I apologize that it's so long.

Question to follow this up: What's your advice to those who get so caught up in perfectionism regarding self esteem. Getting so caught up in the perceived wrongs that need to be fixed that like... they don't even see the good.

Also, I feel like we might want to make a distinction between self-esteem and confidence. If there is any. Because confidence can only be built by acting and getting experience. Confidence without experience is just bravado,. And Bravado is just pretending.

They can discuss that if they want. It's not really a major concern at the moment since I've had a pretty clear mind recently and been able to think through it well, but it would be interesting to hear their thoughts I suppose

Recently, I found out my two oldest brothers (both underage) got drunk. When I was 12, my oldest brother nearly died from alcohol poisoning. That experience traumatized me. I’ve seen the effects of what alcohol can do, and so have both my older brothers. One of them survived it. Beyond that, in our religion, we’re counseled not to drink. I look up to my older brothers a lot and felt super disappointed in them when I heard they got drunk. I also used to look up to my dad a lot, before his true nature was revealed and he abandoned us. Since then, I keep learning new things that make it harder and harder for me to find anything to look up to. I don’t look up to my dad anymore, and I’m worried about my older brothers. I don’t want them to fall down a path where I no longer look up to them either. I don’t want them to fall into a dark place. But I also know I can’t control them. They have to make their own choices. I guess I’m just worried about them or something.

How do you deal with conflict inflicted against you? In 7th grade, I had a misunderstanding with my president, in return she made everyone in the class hate me one way or another. We were close friends. I tried to tie the misunderstanding, but she wouldn't talk to me for 3 months, me feeling in despair and feeling guilty. She started responding to my existence on Jan 2020, by this time I didn't want to reconcile, i knew it wasn't the best feeling to obtain, but I kept it because it was from that of being neglected. In all honesty, I did not become hostile to her. I promised myself I wouldn't mute other people like what she did to me.

Do you know how sometimes you associate things with things? Like earlier today, I realized that I made a wrong assumption unintentionally. When I think of something like quizzes, you either pass or fail and are right or wrong. What would you do to break association with things like that? Like in this case, the person wasn't intending for it to be a graded thing, just a funny remark. I feel pretty bad afterwords, since I jumped to conclusions and I misunderstand the good intentions of other people. And on top of that I have a really hard time recognizing certain types of playful comments or words. I take it literally. And while sometimes I catch myself and ask someone else, most times I don't notice until someone points it out. It's a little frustrating since I can take things too far as I misunderstand and it ruins any fun that may have meant to be shared. Do you have any advice on recognizing these things? How to have a better reaction to things that could be seen as offensive? Much love and apologies, Princess