Q: I'm stuck in a friendzone. But thats just a small info to set up the situation.
The girl I'm in love with really does her best to fit the optimal friendzone stereotype. I did fall for her hard, she does get really emotional about her relationships (even more than usually folk do). And when her relationships fail, she comes crying to me and suddenly I start existing. A "friend". I do my best to build her confidence in herself back up and I try to cheer her up. I do what I can just to help.
Now, I do not expect anything in return. I do wish I had something out of that, but I know it ain't gonna happen, so it just kinda waits in the back of my heart just hurting me a bit. Now, as someone pointed out, it may seem like an unhealthy relationship, but... It makes me feel alive. I can't detach myself from this. I need her friendship in my life, because she's just... Her. I don't need a girlfriend. I may have a crush on her, but all I want is a *friend*, and day after day, I genuinely feel like I'm more like her back-up plan than a friend. Especially with her not messaging me first, pretty much at all. You know, it always ends up with either me messaging her or just days of silence.
What do I do? I tried: A) Moving past it B) Discrediting this feeling and THEN moving past it C) Being very hard on conveying my feelings D) Being just a friend, but ending up in anger by being left behind by her. E) Refusing to help her (because of an actual mental breakdown). Because I want to be something more than a backup plan when everything goes wrong. I want to be a friend.