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  1. Last week
  2. I personally have a very poor understanding of Catholicism as a Christian. Basically people say that you worship Mary. And also could you explain counting beads?
  3. Earlier
  4. I know I'm not very active on here, but I need some help, and I have nowhere else to turn to. I'm in love with my best friend, and I don't know what to do anymore. She's in a happy relationship already, and has been for more than 3 years, and I respect that. I would never do anything that could even possibly mess with that. But this is killing me. I don't want to feel this way, I never did. She's always been my best friend, nothing more, and that was fine. But for almost 3 months now, I've had stronger feelings for her, and it just keeps getting worse. I want this to stop. I want things to go back to how they were. She's happy with her boyfriend, and I'm truly glad that she's happy, I just wish it didn't hurt me so badly. Is there anything I can do to make this go away, so I can get back to living my life? This past week, its just been consuming me. Its on my mind almost all the time, and seriously weighing me down. I don't want to be jealous, upset, or mad anymore, because I shouldn't be. The two of them really are great together, and I love seeing how happy they are, but I'm tired of all the negativity surrounding it now. She's my closest friend, and the only person in the world I truly trust. But I can't talk to her about this, for obvious reasons. I can't let this force me to drift apart from her. Sorry for the repetitive sentences and wall of text, its hard to get my thoughts straight. What can I do?
  5. Vision, hearing, speaking, and life in general, is all a gift in my mind. None of it is guaranteed. Birth doesn't guarantee a working heart, nor does it guarantee the gift of sight, vision, taste, hearing, speaking, or anything. You don't need eyesight to live, nor do you need hearing or voice. People live without them, so they are not "required" to live, they're gifts. I've been so grateful for all of these gifts except for voice. I've never liked my voice. I've been told it's deep, which is why I often don't like to sing songs that are in the lower part of my voice. Even if it strains my voice, I try to go as high as I can with my voice, no matter how hard it is to hit certain notes. Recently, I've been finding ways to switch to my low falsetto whenever it reaches a certain point where I physically can't go up anymore. But this forceful exertion is probably what has led me to the issue of this post: I'm losing my voice. It's been gone for over a week now, but has only left the deep part of my voice. Ironically, this is the very reason I hated my voice. It was too deep. Why even pursue music when there are so many much more talented people than me? It seems as though everyone I know has a better voice than me, or at least that's what I see. When I sing, no one appears impressed, yet someone else will sing and everyone acts blown away. Why try, then, if everything I do is overlooked? Sure, it's fun to make music and fun to sing, I'd love to be able to sing to my music. I even want to make hard rock music because I seem to impress people with my screaming. But whenever you're an artist and you put all of your love into making something, only for it to be overlooked, it can be quite uninspiring. Of course, there are bands (current and old) that have lead singers with deep voices, but for the most part it seems like they're a thing of the past. Now people are more impressed with higher voices, and the higher your voice is the more impressive it is. How can I learn to be grateful for what my voice is? Is there anything I can do for my voice now that I'm losing it? I should definitely take a break and rest my vocals, but I can't seem to do that. I'm obsessed with singing and I don't think that's helping.
  6. Hey everyone, Today I wanna speak about something which has started back when I was a lot more absent from the community but recently resurged. Back 1.5 years ago I was in the middle of my college degree right before my internship (I got my college degree July 7th officially) But before my internship I helped at my old high school to teach software development. Back then I was 18 helping 14 year old kids but at that age some of the girls get crushes on boys and some of them happened on me as I was the “cute teacher” and usually I was able to shrug them off without any problem cause they realized it didn’t work. Well last week Sunday I went celebrating with a old high school mate who got his degree this year and seeing as I had my college degree we both decided to invite three people. At the end we we’re with 6 cause some fell off but one of the people he invited was one of the girls who I used to teach and who had a crush on me. The thing is it seems she hasn’t gotten over it in this these 1.5 years from what I know due to how she acted and responded. The thing is I’m 19 and she’s not even 16 so it’s far from legal and makes me highly uncomfortable. But I don’t know how to make her back off, I tried putting her into like a bro zone or like acted more formal/teacher like but it hasn’t helped. And I don’t want people to think I condone this or like this cause that might paint me in a very bad light. Do you guys have any tips on how I can tell her to stop advances of her and to make her realize that even if I liked her it wouldn’t be legal and even then I’d feel uncomfortable? I’m just afraid I might come over as rude and I hate making kids feel upset definitely that I might help teach again next year. Hope I was clear and thanks for listening to me ramble. Much love, Jojo
  7. Things have been nothing short of amazing. I've recently made the decision to dive headfirst into nostalgia instead of shying away from anything related to the past. I haven't felt this amazing in years... since New York, even. All of the music stuff I ordered finally came in and I'm so excited and inspired! I'm still an admin on the server I mentioned last post. It's been fun and I really do feel like I belong. I've always wanted a position of power and leadership, having never had either my entire life. I'm the best I've ever been, and honestly it feels like I was made for this... like it was meant to be. To add onto the amazing, ever-expanding list of good news, I have a girlfriend now! Yay! However... I know that no matter what I do, this feeling won't last. I know that this happiness and light that I have now won't last. Eventually, it'll fade and go away just like everything and everyone else in my life. Maybe that's me being too pessimistic, but I have a reason to be, especially when that pessimism has been nothing but true my entire life. I don't want it to end, but I know it won't last. Is there a way to make it last? Or at least a way to prepare for when this feeling fades? I love my life and everything's 1000% amazing. I just don't want this feeling to ever leave. (P.S. I always sing Static's songs on karaoke servers and I've met a couple people who recognized them. They even said I sounded like Static a little when I sing, which is inspiring. Also Static, a person who goes by Kuare on Discord wanted me to let you know that she loves "Life Might Take Us" :3)
  8. I'm worried I won't be able to get into the University i want because my grades are awful. T-T I want to study computer science/artificial intelligence. I shall try to figure out a study method but I don't know if I can stick to it. I enjoy song writing in my free time so maybe I can fuse them like your did! It seems i can't focus my attention on what I need to I've looked into ADHD and stuff like that but jury's still out. I've been trying to but so far I'm only diagnosed with being 17. I've been told my head is a melting point at this stage so I gotta wait until I'm an adult.
  9. It's been almost a year since I asked you guys about help developing self-control, and your advice helped me make leaps and bounds from my previous state of mind. I've improved a lot, but one thing is causing a lot of issues for me right now: Obsession. A concept or urge can pop into my head and black out everything else, to the point where I'm barely aware of my surroundings and fully focused on addressing the concept or fulfilling the urge. This can disrupt and conversation and turn it into ignoring the other person and talking at them instead of with them, and it can disrupt my work, positive habits, and even sleep. Sometimes it feels helpful, since when I become obsessed with an important task or project it can help ensure I get it done. But often that comes at the cost of routines and habits I've been trying to form. And I will lose all motivation for the task when I'm forced away from it by circumstances, interruptions, or the need for sleep. How can I move from these random and temporary obsessions into a consistent, productive mindset?
  10. Super Ultra Best Adorable Fantastic Ultimate I love it! Srsly this is really cute, Vimi!
  11. My Grandma has decided that she is going to visit her daughter Jaime for a month in Arizona by flying there. I don't think I need to tell you how bad of an idea this is... She's leaving this coming week and I've was told that when I see her next I should make sure I say my goodbyes just in case. And I have already done so, as best as one really can. My parents had a long discussion of how if she gets sick, she's not gonna survive and she's not likely to get treatment either. Since Arizona already don't have space for those who are sick in their hospitals. It's not quite real yet that this possibility exists, and it's possible that she'll go and be okay. But... this would be the first person that is family I have met to pass away if she does. I am doing my best not to worry about it since it isn't going to help me. Yet the conversation that my parents had rings in my head. Especially that my dad wants to drive grandma to the airport, because that might be the last time he sees her. Any advice in the face of something like this? Much Love, Princess
  12. Stickers you say? @Kyle @Jesse V. @Ryan Seewald 【Static-P】 @J.Curtis @Joe Anderson【CDVNL】
  13. Okay, so this isn't so much help for me as it is my little sister. For a while now my mom sort of puts my sister on the back burner and completely ignores her whenever she doesn't feel like dealing with her. She will even scold my sister for coming outside to talk to her when she is playing on her phone even though my sister more often than not wants to get my mom's attention to show her something that she has been working on that she is really proud of. This is made worse by the fact that my sister has really bad separation anxiety and will either shut off completely or get extremely angry when this happens. Her separation anxiety is REALLY bad. Like she will come into my room crying when my mom leaves to go do whatever. I've been trying to be around her more but I work 5 days a week and am just not home very much at all. And even on my days off my sister is sometimes at her dad's. Plus I'm her brother, I can't replace the motherly love that she wants and I don't want to watch my sister become an extremely introverted person who is afraid to talk and deals with everything on their own. I just don't really know what to do to help her which is why I'm here. She is 5 years old by the way
  14. If anyone was wondering about their outfits, here are them with their references! Aoke's hair is from her idol stage, I liked that ponytail-thing that was goin on.
  15. I was scrolling through Pinterest and came across my usual dose of anime-styled art and was inspired to draw the Star Blush Girls in an anime style to try my hand at it! Unfortunately, as it is Pinterest, I couldn't find the specific artists that I gained inspiration from and used as references. I don't know why but I've always wanted to avoid an anime-y art style (large eyes, small face, noses and mouth) but.... here we are now. And I gotta say, I had a LOT of fun doing it. The end results were adorable, and I was proud to try something new. I really liked how Aoke and Hareka turned out (they were my last two so it does makes sense for them to be better after previous practice) and want to make them into stickers or keychains to carry a part of Criminal Idol with me. :) What do you say, BSS? Now without further ado... here it is! ...Unless this posts my picture before my long story. Then... there it was. I'm not great at using forums, whoops sorry!
  16. Whoo! I finally finished a song I've been working on for quite a while. I hope you all enjoy ;D -Matt Cwilk_-_Snowing_on_Satellites.mp3
  17. Quick note, I somehow got Rewind's key wrong - the chord progression in the clip is correct but it is in A minor, not D minor.
  18. I've recently regained my faith. I've had a lot of dreams about "the end." I also had a dream about me making music after once again wondering what I wanted to do. Then I had another dream about me wanting to pursue animation over music. Today, I even saw an ad for film-making that put it in a way which made it seem like it was meant to be. But then I also have fallen in love with synthwave/retrowave/synthpop music and bought a lot of (expensive and somewhat unnecessary but awesome) music equipment. That being said, yes, I changed my mind again. Instead of being a singer, however, I might just be an electronic producer, like Alan Walker. That way I don't have to worry about my voice and can focus on the instrumentals/production, yet still have a stage. Maybe even write some of the lyrics if something hits me. Okay okay, so... I changed my mind again. What's new? A lot, actually, and I'm very eager and happy to share this with you all. I made a quite an interesting decision recently. I had been wanting to go back to my original-self recently. I miss being able to be what I was, and live like I lived. I might just get that, but at the same time it'll be completely different. It'll be the same me that I was, but just.... better, and with new memories. A new start. It'll be home to my heart. I recently asked my friends who I regained contact with (such as May) why they ever fell in love with me to begin with. I then asked someone (who I shall not name) from Static's server why they decided to be with me. The results were very different. For May, it was because she said I always listened to her problems, no matter how big or small, that I cared about her, and that I always made her feel like she was someone special. For the other, it was because she felt bad for me. These two different results left me to reflect. I asked because I wanted to expand the parts of me that were good. But while doing so, I also got hit hard with guilt. It doesn't matter who I was nice to when, in the end, I hurt them both anyways. Then I found another server and made a lot of friends. They're all nice, but then they revealed another issue about myself.... that I can't carry a full conversation without becoming depressed over something. Luckily, this is no longer an issue and that's awesome! I've learned not to get too consumed by my past. After all, I am not my demons. And as the "Cherri" on top, I am now a staff member of that server. An admin, to be specific. However, if I can do all this, why stop here? Why not strive for the best ending I could ever imagine? Why not do everything I set my mind to? There's no reason to quit now. As for the question, there's an aspect of me I feel could use a little bit more fixing (ironically). I wish to be like Ryan and Joe in a lot of aspects, but especially in their ability to have a saint's patience. So how do I become that? (Also P.S. Ryan - I don't know if you saw my message I sent on Discord, but I sent you a message... I don't want to like put any pressure or interrupt anything, but whenever you get a chance, it would mean the world to me if you could just let me know)
  19. hi community. I finally decided to join you. : > kthxbai
  20. Hello, My Name is Noah. When I was younger, I had a brain tumor which caused my pituitary to hit against my right eyeball. Which caused me to be blind it my right eye. It's become a hassle because sometimes I can't see what's going on considering my peripheral vision on the right side was way worse than the average person. The surgery happened when I was five and for the last seven years of my life I have been living with my right eye blind. My problem is people see things that I can't, And after I look in the direction of what happened, It's already over. Or maybe someone would point something out like an animal on the side of the road and I have no idea what they're talking about, so I just sit there and act like I know what they're talking about. I feel like I'm missing out on enjoyment and memory's that I could be making because I only have one eye. And sometimes I feel like I don't fit in if i'm not laughing but everyone else is and it happens super frequently too. I think there's a looming feeling that someone or something is always going to be happening and I'm never going to see it. I know this isn't anything to major but I did want to get your opinions on it. This may not be the best writing, but try not to blame me I'm just a kid in middle school. P.S Ryan, I love your music. Keep doing what your doing. Sincerely, Noah
  21. the VST is really good but there a lot of clipping and there is a random emptiness but still really good loopier Changed the VST because this one is better (edit)
  22. Hello, This may be a rant but I don't know. Recently I been thinking about my mindset towards creative meta. (music and game development) One of them is the mindset of just make it and make more of it you know feel your way around it. The other is a little bit different it's more negative. It's has to be amazing and it has to be good it can not be bad everything needs to be perfect. I say that's negative when the words are positive. This mindset starting to go away but still things that it brings, like being overwhelm and non motivation to do things, are coming back. I would like to find a good balanced mindset with both things and think I'm getting there. its a slow process, but I'm just gonna take it one code line at a time. I just wanted to know your thoughts and opinions Thank you ~Hyrule P.S. this VST is amazing there is a little learning curve but still its so good https://www.bigfishaudio.com/momentum.html
  23. chibim


  24. Sparrow is here This is more of a important issue I want to comfort someone who is going with some family issues, but whenever she wants to talk about it my mind goes blank. I would like your input. Sparrow is gone
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